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for Night Shadow Classics (Original Series) - Issue 5

9/8/2021 c11 Ways
And once again, the day is saved.
The cool down with this chapter was a good time and eased me out of all the intensity of the rest of it well.
Melody was a good surprise here that I didn't see coming but the desperation for her was portrayed really well. I want good things for her.
A nice amount of character came out of Lyra as well with her having slight dismay over her not being the kids favorite hero hehehe. But it was a good scene seeing that you're beginning to expand your universe with even more heroes.
Bertram makes me happy that he's working towards getting better. I still don't fully trust him but I'm happy for the guy. Worried about the mysterious cowboy who's located him now though.
And finally poor Nagini but I'm glad that Technolocity keeps things funny. The guy should never change haha
9/8/2021 c10 Ways
Great work! I really enjoyed the fight and all in all it was a fun time.
One of the things I really enjoyed the most had to be Monsoon Gal's ultimate state. It's interesting that she's not a monster like Mason is and I can't help but wonder if there's a particular reason for that.
Happy that the infection is over and I'm greatly looking forward to the end of this fic. Nice work.
9/7/2021 c9 Ways
Okay, this one is officially my favorite standalone chapter out of all the issues so far. Not sure if it's my favorite issue yet, that still has to go to camping. But nah, the character writing and the twists in this one are just sooooo good.
To start with, I really didn't see the whole water thing coming at all but it makes a ton of sense and I love that. Poor Monsoon Gal too, I think you handled her response to that really well and loved how she was able to make up with Frosty. I really liked how you managed to lay everything out on the table for them and pretty much everyone else in this chapter.
Techno's motivations about how he wants the elemental demons in fear of heroes taking control over the world is interesting. It definitely changes a bit of perspective on him though and honestly makes me wonder what made him come to this specific conclusion and what makes him think he couldn't fall to that idea of absolute power. But I also hope it means potential redemption for him to see the powers are in the right hands. But then again, it also makes me wonder if there could be something else to the demons that he knows that we don't. Hmmmmmm
As for Melody, right off the bat she kinda gives me death flags now and that has me worried because she's someone else I really wanna see get redeemed as well. But I genuinely really loved the scene she had with imaginary Felix and I just want good things for her. She's also become another one of my favorites with just how conflicted she is between past and present. Gonna be interesting when you finally do that Gavroche reveal and I hope she's there for it.
As for Pyro and Mason, pretty much the same praise as the other.
And the ending with the challenge issued by Techno had a great balance of humor and hype and I'm excited for the next one. Great work.
9/6/2021 c8 Guest
Great chapter.
As always fights are fluid and the characterization was great.
Another appearance from Gavroche is always fun to see and I just really like how intense that fight was especially with how close Monsoon Girl came.
Additionally, the introduction of an ultimate state was fun. You did a lot of sweet misdirection with it looking like to was the infection specifically for Night Shadow and I do love how intimidating it is.
And of course, I'm always here for more character moments with Steven and I loved him begging for Mason to come back and not wanting to lose anyone else.
And the ending with the good old doc has me curious. Wondering if we can fully trust him.
9/3/2021 c7 Ways
Nice work again.
A lot of great stuff here that I really enjoyed.
The emotional weight with the whole involved with this one.
Right off the bat things between Lyra and Alyssa are done very well with her reaction to Alvin and Sarah getting infected. It was also a sly way of weaving in a little bit of her backstory.
Mason calling for Ssssydney in the apartment was sad but also sweet. Its moments like that that show he really cares. Not that I doubted it before, but y'know.
And of course the scene with Steven looking at his picture of the old team was great. Reminded me of a particular scene in Jojo honestly heh. But nah, all the stuff with his brother is great and again, you did a fantastic job with portraying Steven's genuine sorrow over it all.
And of course the ending at the mall has me excited for next time.

As always, good work.
9/3/2021 c6 Ways
Okay, quite a bit to unpack here.
Right off the bat, I can definitely see that this issue really does feel a lot more focused than previous ones. None of the others are unfocused or anything like that, but the direction and storytelling in this one feels all around tighter than before and I like that a lot.
And that overall direction being stronger leads me to Steven. I really do like all the focus and character development. The divorce story and everything with his brother as a child has piqued my interest and I'm curious to see where that all goes. I know his brother betrayed him somehow but that's it and you have me engaged. The whole teacher gig for him actually fits him well and I just like watching the guy. He might be my favorite of the bunch with all the character development he's getting.
Another thing I also have to note is Sydney again. She seems to be the catalyst to a lot of interpersonal conflict for the characters and well I'm mixed on that. I do like the character trait of hers that she's rash and often speaks without thinking but I also think it's something that should be used a little more sparingly. While not the main conflict for this issue, using her like that twice in a row or more can be a bit much. I definitely understand how easy it can be to use certain characters for certain specific things but it's definitely good not to overdo it.
But back to things I liked!
The battle at the end with Pyro and Monsoon girl at the University was a ton of fun and I really liked the buildup you did to the reveal on both sides. Same goes for Mason and Nelson. It was a fun time and honestly the idea of watching your professor slam a student into a desk and lifting one over their head is really funny to me haha.
And that ending cliffhanger was even better than the last.

Great job.
9/2/2021 c5 Ways
Another great chapter.
To start with, the opening flashback was good and left me even more curious about the histories of these characters. I really liked getting to know Felix a little bit and understanding his place amongst the old Void League as a sort of leader, it adds a lot of context to why they miss him so much.
And coming off of that flashback in the way that you did with her reacting in the present day was done smoothly and portrayed her emotions well. Speaking of transitions, using asking Techno about Felix to lead into making things a little more sillier was also a good idea and made things go smoothly.
Battle in the sewers was a lot of fun as well and I enjoyed having Darla's personality further showcased. I feel like there's more going on there than her simply wanting to do things herself and I'm curious.
And the cliffhanger was tense and I loved the relief you set with him getting up only to rip it away with the fall.
Very nicely done.
9/2/2021 c4 Guest
So I'm a little mixed on the opening scene with Nagani. It was good but felt a little odd, I guess you wanted to show that she lives a somewhat normal life but I guess it wasn't quite what I was expecting. The segment in some ways felt a little fillery but then you managed to turn it back around to tie in. So yeah, that whole scene was a mixed bag for me.
However, I did greatly enjoy the rest of the chapter!
Meeting Lyra and the kids was fun and it's always good to find something for Jerry and Amber and their budding romance. Still rooting for the guy but I guess time will tell. I also really like the kids and greatly enjoyed the Steven Universe reference.
Mason, Amber and Nelson were also very nicely used here and I liked reading Mason being worried for her. You do a really good job of just establishing them as a couple who's just kinda doing their thing, despite the whole superhero thing they really just feel like your average adults living together doing their thing and I enjoy that. Nelson needs to be sent to horny jail.
The break down with the heroes was good too and I got a very good laugh at Pyro Lad exposing Nelson haha.
As for the ending with the Void League? It was interesting. Not to much to say there.

So yeah, aside from the one scene that left me wondering a bit this was a very solid chapter. Nice one, man.
9/1/2021 c3 Ways
Another nice one. I do like learning a little bit more about Pyrolad's life and history.
And I also greatly enjoy the little bit of development and near kiss there haha.
And meeting Lyra was fun too.
I also got a good laugh out of the last line haha.
I'm definitely looking forward to the next one.
9/1/2021 c2 Ways
Fun times and I'm definitely enjoying this one a lot.
I liked learning a little bit more about Mason's family. I like his parents.
Admittedly, I do think there could've been a little more nudges towards his parents being police previously since that seems a little too closely linked to the whole superhero thing to just have come up now but I also know you didn't really plan things before this issue.

Also, as always action was stellar. Nice one.
9/1/2021 c1 Ways
An interesting start to the story but I like it. It feels like one of those pre-theme song scenes in an animated show.
You really did a good job of making the villain here feel intimidating as well as set up some interesting motivations that I'm sure will play in later. Nice one.
4/15/2021 c1 TURNER35
I really love your story, it deserves a lot of audience. If you have some great stories like this one, you can publish it on NovelStar, just submit your story to or
2/20/2021 c10 1StarlitDuck
Well, this was certainly interesting a lot of things happened during this fight. For starters, I really liked the infection taking over. That was really interesting. I also found Melody's realization that Gavroche might be Felix to be very nice too.

However, there are a few things I want to critique.

First off, the part where Nagini monologues about her backstory. I know that monloguing is a cliche in superhero media, but I don't think it works here for one particular reason. That being, we the audience already know about Nagini's backstory, so repeating it takes up more time that could have potentially been dedicated to more action.

While the fight scene was overall good and some of the actions were really cool, I also noticed that you did a lot of telling I stead of showing in regards to the character's emotions during the fight. "Show don't tell" is a big rule in storytelling, and it is generally a good idea to follow. Granted, I don't necessarily blame you for not following it, as it is generally something that needs to be practiced over time. I just think it would have been nice to see more of the emotions instead of them being told to us. For example, when Pyro Lad was being confronted by Nagini, instead if outright saying that he won't let his brother's betrayal bother him anymore, we could see him take a deep breath and just give a cool little smile or something along those lines. Then, he could say "shut up, Nagini," or something like that.

But, overall, this was an entertaining final battle. I really liked the infection taking control of Night Shadow, as mentioned previously, and I also liked how the Seattle Strikers (if that is what they are called) worked together. Good job, and I'll see you for the ending.
11/22/2020 c9 StarlitDuck
Woah. A lot of stuff happened in this chapter. First off, the whole infecting things with the water supply thing was very smart of Nagini. Also, poor MG. That's tough.

Secondly, it seems that Nagini did already have connections to Technolocity. That's an interesting development. And ha! I was right about the Animal Surgery thing!

That whole idea of Gavroche being Felix is interesting. I want to se ehow that develops, and if it is true. There is so much story potential with Felix and Gavroche being one in the same.

Overall, you did a good job! We got to see more of the motivations behind Techy (which are actually very well thought out motivations) and character development for Mason, Alyssa, Lyra, and Steven. This is seriously a good story; I can see why you're so proud of it.
11/18/2020 c8 StarlitDuck
Aside from a few grammar errors, this was a very enjoyable chapter! I liked seeing the interactions between NS, Pyro, and Bertram. Speaking of which, Betram is back! I believe he was the villain in Episode 4. It is nice seeing him again.

Speaking of people who are nice to see again, I liked seeing Gavroche. I also liked how he spoke mostly in Russian for the entirety of his fight. And at the end, when Melody said for him to learn English...that was funny.

I also liked that thing with Alexa. I wonder if she'll become a hero, or if there will be a story written around her. That would be cool.

Looks like Night Shadow is getting worse. I like how you are building up the tension by having the heroes race against the clock. That is very nice and makes for a very intense read.

Overall, great job! :)
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