for The Getaway Bag6/25/2021 c1 
771Jave Harron
Heh. That poor fellow is about to be in for a real rough span. I enjoyed your stream of consciousness writing style. For some reason, thinking of Bret Easton Ellis. I like the second person pacing, as it reminds me of interactive fiction (Choose Your Own Adventure books and the like). I think some more detail, like allusions or metaphors, might improve the tension, although the end was worth it.
771Jave HarronHeh. That poor fellow is about to be in for a real rough span. I enjoyed your stream of consciousness writing style. For some reason, thinking of Bret Easton Ellis. I like the second person pacing, as it reminds me of interactive fiction (Choose Your Own Adventure books and the like). I think some more detail, like allusions or metaphors, might improve the tension, although the end was worth it.
2/19/2020 c1 97CitrusChickadee
The suspense leading up to the unexpected revelation was pretty great, ha. And then the last line completely twists things around again. Definitely an interesting buildup here.
97CitrusChickadeeThe suspense leading up to the unexpected revelation was pretty great, ha. And then the last line completely twists things around again. Definitely an interesting buildup here.