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3/25 c2 15Charmpanda
I know you yourself think your first person POV is awkward and stumbly, but I find it quite nice. No matter what, I’ll always believe first person puts you closer to the character. It flows nicely, and it seems like your number of gramatical errors, which are few, have even decreased in this format. I think you’re doing an excellent job! I adore the relaxed, slice-of-life feel to this story. It’ll be fun to see how things progress. Spandel popped up in the first chapter, will he and Jasper appear as tangible characters in this story? Ew! I just realized Spandel would be twenty to twenty four right now depending on when the girls started college! My Baby’s so old! He’s been on earth for a hot minute! :)
AAAGGGGGHHHH! Lily is so grouchy! I can’t say I wouldn’t just ignore her if I were Valerian. NOOOOOOOOO! Song writing is like the one thing I just completely and utterly suck at! That class is musical hell! Link and Izabella! I just love it when you mention them and Verity, even in the vaguest sense. It for some inexplicable reason makes me super happy. Lily is such a cynical lady, being suspect of Val’s kindness. I honestly am the same. Trust.. no. One. Haha, this is a fabulous story idea, and a look into the adult life I will never have. I hope you’ve sprinkled a bit of college drama in there. Wonderful work! If you have any questions, just send’m by me. :)

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