Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for The Power and the Glory

3/6/2023 c1 6Darth Zannacross
Hey again hope you been well Nerissia, sorry its been so long been busy with Grad School work. lets see, will try and get into the start of this as we indeed have a prologue. Ah, zombies are always a not so cheerful way to kick things off but at least its not as bleak as the Last of Us lol.

Sounds like there's hell to pay for the someone who let things go to hell,
3/5/2023 c2 Darth Zannacross
Ouch, the old Superman troupe of being all powerful, at the cost of being bland lol.

Well this looks like another cool place you put together, the families exchanging kids reminds me of how the New Gods exchanged kids, hopefully it won't get THAT tense but we will see.

Ilaran has a lot to handle but, hope she can turn things around...maybe Death will become pals with her to lol.
3/3/2023 c2 38Starart152
This is an interesting chapter where we meet two groups of characters. The prince is ready for a journey that is unknown, while Naluran is trying to figure out something about the change in her brother's marriage.

I like the characters and their personality so far. There is a lot of description, but it is the first chapter of the first book after all.
3/2/2023 c1 Starart152
This is an interesting prologue. It gives little information's about the characters, but it gives an interesting intrigue.

I did notice that the time difference between the two events doesn't have a strong link or doesn't feel like there is a link between those two events. Still, it gives two elements of the plot you are going to develop and maybe it will connect later on.
10/22/2021 c65 3Folding Turtles
"the slowest, most painful death..." - brought to my mind the curse that Zeus cast on Prometheus such that he would have to suffer an eagle eating his immortal liver every day. Geez, Lian/Imrahil is a vindictive one, isn't he?

The shifts in fashion throughout time you mentioned... Ah, in the real world, I think the grunge and quirkily chaotic days of the '90s and early '00s [*shudder*] can be buried forever in sartorial archives, never to be revived, and the entire UNIVERSE would be a better place for it.

Ah! Ending on a cliffhanger! I think, given that Lian/Imrahil is also surrounded by an aura of dark magic, that the deaths happening in the palace are actually a result of his literally dark vibes emanating out and poisoning the chi somehow. In which case, his determination to make whoever had cast the "curse" pay is oddly ironic. [...hmmmm...]

Overall, I've really enjoyed this fic. The characters could be developed further, both to exhibit growth and to further differentiate one character from another, because ideally, one would be able to determine who is speaking without dialogue tags purely from the way the sentences are phrased and the actions and thoughts that happen throughout. There could also be a little more description of the various settings, as I'd imagine that the different countries/regions are situated in very different terrains and landscapes; that'd help to make the worldbuilding richer. The same goes for the exact modes of transportation, because something as simple as a horse-drawn carriage can look very different, from the classic "ye olde" Victorian England Jane Austen-style coach-and-four...to a techno-cyber version like the Cybermen from Doctor Who (don't know if you're familiar with that show) crossed with the Budweiser Clydesdales...to the Cinderella-esque fantasy fairy-tale carriage pulled by gleaming white horses and sparkling with magic...and so on ad infinitum... That said, the infusion of various fantasy elements and different cultures has been great. Love all the plot twists and interrelations. Will definitely come back for the continuation of this story. Do you know when approximately it'll begin?
10/8/2021 c62 Folding Turtles
#61: Based on what Kitri has observed in the past few chapters, I’m presuming that the dead corpses Abi had raised earlier and then “put back to sleep” never truly went back to eternal sleep, but instead came back to life and began raising more of their own kind — a self-propagating viral plague of sorts. And not only can the undead corpses raise their own kind, but they can also infect the living and turn them into zombies, too. Really random, but…Kitri descending the building via a makeshift belt rope reminded me of those body-weight exercise regimens that involve anchoring an elastic band to the wall (e.g., TRX). “A horrible vision of falling and breaking her leg…” — Kitri is quite brave; most people would be more concerned with falling and breaking their neck. The undead corpses seem to have a hive mentality. And…given the way that Mirio and Lian believe that the curse disease had all been connected to a single caster… The similarity between the hive mentality connections and the interrelated curse connections… Maybe there is someone else who knows necromancy and kicked off this fresh round of zombie apocalypse? Maybe Haliran? To create chaos and take power while everyone else is running from undead corpses? Though, how she got out of prison long enough to do that is befuddling. Oh, and the first line of the chapter’s intro quote (“Is this the way it ends now?”) reminded me of a line from T.S. Eliot (THE HOLLOW MEN), “This is the way the world ends / Not with a bang but a whimper.” The fifth section of that poem has a similar mood to your piece: unsettling, apocalyptic, and at the mercy of an omniscient puppeteer.

#62: I bet, based on the eerie recognition that Mirio had felt, as well as the description given of the portrait, that Lian is Imrahil. (!) It’s also possible that he was involved in necromancy, which is why he was sent away. And…maybe, he has a vendetta against his family for sending him away and trying to kill him via a staged “boating accident.” Or, an accident in which he faked his own death to retire his family’s suspicions about himself… So he was never reincarnated, but still himself, albeit disguised?
9/28/2021 c59 Folding Turtles
I bet Lian dabbles in dark magic. Oh, maybe at some point, Abi and Lian will meet. That would actually make a great team. One person is a brilliant doctor who tries to save the patients, and if they die, Abi can bring them back to life.

The part about the different medical devices that each region uses reminded me of something: Lian taking Zi Yao's blood is sorta similar to the process of draining the "bad blood" out of patients via leeches in the (I think... ?) 1800s by European doctors.
9/4/2021 c52 Folding Turtles
Yaaaaas, go Abi. Smoke the parasites to a crisp. Been waiting for that moment for a long time.

Question: if phoenixes burn up all sinners, does that mean only people who have no sin can possibly become one? If so, then I almost wonder if Abi would become some type of blameless sacrifice...

The short description of Abi folding her wings brought me back to my middle school days when I was basically obsessed with Maximum Ride (a decent YA read), and the bird-mutant experiment-gone-wrong kids in the book were folding their grafted wings.
8/27/2021 c50 Folding Turtles
Lian doesn't give me a good feeling...a wolf in sheep's clothing, a reincarnation of Jafar from Aladdin. I think the princes are sick because of his medicine.

In relation to footnote 2 from #49, another common term of endearment I've seen is "bao bei," which isn't a name-modifier per se, but a phrase that loosely translates to "Honey,..." in English.

I was thinking about the song "Demons" when I was reading #50, partially because of the "There's a monster I caged deep behind my eyes" line in the beginning-of-chapter quote, and partially because the lyrics "Don't get too close / It's dark inside / It's where my demons hide / It's where my demons hide" seemed to fit the scene.

Also in relation to #50, I was thinking when Abi was standing on the ledge that she'd jump and turn into a phoenix and maybe flap a gale of flames at the parasite, which would toast *it* to a crisp and leave Ilaran unhurt, but I guess that'd be too easy... XD
8/21/2021 c48 Folding Turtles
This is a really great piece! Worldbuilding and pacing are on point. Worldbuilding through footnotes, especially (wonder if you've ever read Infinite Jest?). My thoughts so far:

#32 - the disillusionment with publishing writing is totally relatable. After some experiences sending out unsolicited query letters to literary agents without knowing much about the publishing industry AT ALL led me eventually to this site to get some more practice before take two.

#36 - the whole marriage contract misunderstanding was so funny. Thanks for a great laugh.

#43 - the situation at the end with being pitiably stuck in dragon form reminded me of the scene from Meet the Robinsons when the mind-controlled T-Rex tells the bowler hat guy, "But Master, I have such a large head...and such little arms..."

I can't remember which chapter this was in, but the story of the lawyer turning into a rabbit under stress reminded me of the debacle with the lawyer turned into a kitten and the boss who couldn't get out of the potato filter on Zoom. The joys of virtual work...

Really enjoying this so far. Looking forward to your next update.
2/8/2021 c43 Guest
Oh my word! This was the best chapter yet! Dragon Irime, incompetent Abi, Ilaran's exasperation, matter of fact Death, Shizuki showing respect and the ending - oh the ending! I don't see how this could be made better. Take a bow Author!
1/23/2021 c38 Guest
Whoa! Wow
7/14/2020 c19 Guest
Wow. The last part gave me the chills
5/13/2020 c2 18Seudonimo Voldeminty
Hey. I love what you've written so far. It all feels so detailed and alive, and mysterious. The characters are instantly intriguing and I want to know them all! I'm keen to read what's happening next and how it all ties together. All the best, Seudonimo .

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service