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for Eternal Dreams: Gifted

12/6/2020 c1 Sheri Dedmon
Hi there, Neo! I thought this was a great piece that accomplished what I felt it sought out to do: reminding others about giving to others. Especially in today’s world where people are experiencing extreme hardships. Doing something as simple as making a post on Insta and urging followers to go and follow someone else because of how awesome they are. It brings about great joy. It makes someone feel good about themselves. Provides them with a bit of happiness. Lets them know they are valued and that they do matter.

For Miss Nagasaki it was more than that. Ken was a child who she never would have imagined doing something like this. It wasn’t that Ken was a selfish boy... he just did things in his own way. Like making up math problems to ask her help with despite knowing she couldn’t. Granted, it was still a snotty thing to do but he’s nine and they’re little snots at that age. Plus, he showed his regard for her when he made his Insta post. I seriously expected that video to rip her apart instead of build her up with the way you introduced Ken. You did a perfect bait and switch by making him come across as that snotty brat before twisting it and showing he actually cares about Miss Nagasaki.

The backstory you have given for Miss Nagasaki is tragic and explains her personality perfectly. Accused of a murder that she didn’t commit, held accountable for it even when it was proven Tiffany was alive and well, and denied the opportunity to form friendships or intimate connections because of the judging going on. It’s a great way of representing how judgmental people are and how they will believe something despite the truth staring them right in the face. Being constantly judged also aged her, something Ken addresses in his smarmy nine-year-old way.

Her obvious shock at Ken’s message shows how rarely she’s treated to kindness. It makes what Ken says all the more precious and special because it isn’t something she expects. That said, it also makes me mad because she doesn’t deserve the treatment she has received and deserves better than she has gotten.

Really excellent piece!
12/5/2020 c1 sunshine-hime
This was a lot of fun to read! I love the subverted expectations, that you were expecting to really dislike Ken here but then he went and surprised the teacher like that. He feels like such a trickster child, like the fox in Japanese lore.

And I love the teacher too, instead of making her a generic awful lady you actually fleshed her out and gave some really tragic motivations for her having the attitude she does now. Honestly she's way stronger than most people, since she didn't crumble under all that wait.

This was an excellent side story, and great and sad and fun way to expand on these characters and their personalities. Thanks so much for writing!

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