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7/13/2021 c6 13J.Kuzzey
Jayden's situation turned around relatively fast between these two chapters thanks to Rory. You're maintaining consistent characterization throughout. Nicely written steamy scene here. You also got me to laugh a bit these last two chapters (he really got slapped by a fish last chapter lol). Overall a nice set of chapters where I didn't see any mistakes and everything seems to be flowing nicely
7/13/2021 c4 J.Kuzzey
Hmm as a reader it's hard to trust Griffin and Lance, they've been showing some nastiness these past two chapters and I can only imagine how far they'll take it. Definitely the villains so to speak thus far. Enjoyed seeing things from Tyler's perspective in chapter 3 and the more universal perspective in this chapter. Only typo I noticed was "trial" instead of "trail," which is pretty insignificant and I only noticed because it was the beginning of a sentence.
7/13/2021 c2 J.Kuzzey
I like this premise, because now the entire focus is on the characters. I'm a big fan of character driven stories, and you've got quite a unique cast here. Enjoying that each boy has his own personality that's coming through. Dialogue is realistic, with each character having a unique voice. I'm actually able to read the lines in my head like I'm reading a script for a movie or play. The dialogue/narration ratio is just right for these chapters and it's flowing well. Right now, it's an ensemble cast but Jayden feels like our main guy in a way, perhaps because it was his perspective we saw in the first chapter. But you're handling the ensemble cast very well thus far.

The only thing to nitpick is remember to use commas in dialogue tags. As an example: ["We'll see about that sooner or later." Is all Tyler commented...] should be ["...or later," is all...]. Other than that everything looks great. Going on to read the next few chapters.

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