for It's Not Isekai to Me!11/14/2021 c7 
11TamariMizu
Hi Taerkitty.
I liked the throwaway details that reference the tongue-in-cheek skewering of Isekai tropes. I appreciated the 'bullshift' swear, 'eeps' for EXP, 'Transit' for coming of age quests, 'OP', and others. I thought it fit the parody style well. However, you missed a bet not naming the gods after car companies though :)
I also like the duality of the tale. On the surface, it is a lighthearted poke in the eye of the ever tiresome and repetitive portal stories that have been beaten to death...yet just under the surface is a world that is clearly on the brink of revolution. I'm curious to see where it goes.
Keep at it!
TM
11TamariMizuHi Taerkitty.
I liked the throwaway details that reference the tongue-in-cheek skewering of Isekai tropes. I appreciated the 'bullshift' swear, 'eeps' for EXP, 'Transit' for coming of age quests, 'OP', and others. I thought it fit the parody style well. However, you missed a bet not naming the gods after car companies though :)
I also like the duality of the tale. On the surface, it is a lighthearted poke in the eye of the ever tiresome and repetitive portal stories that have been beaten to death...yet just under the surface is a world that is clearly on the brink of revolution. I'm curious to see where it goes.
Keep at it!
TM
10/27/2021 c6 TamariMizu
Hi Taerkitty,
Very interesting. The Hue-hair bigotry is interesting. The NPC are only supposed to have natural hair colors, and any baby with technicolor sets off a blind panic that they are 'cursed'. There seems to be a vast gulf between the PCs and NPCs of this world and a powder keg waiting for a lit match...
As Sci would say, "What the Truck?"
Keep writing,
TM
Hi Taerkitty,
Very interesting. The Hue-hair bigotry is interesting. The NPC are only supposed to have natural hair colors, and any baby with technicolor sets off a blind panic that they are 'cursed'. There seems to be a vast gulf between the PCs and NPCs of this world and a powder keg waiting for a lit match...
As Sci would say, "What the Truck?"
Keep writing,
TM
10/16/2021 c5 1Thescarredman
Yeah, this world is ripe for revolution. All it needs is a leader, and a spark.
1ThescarredmanYeah, this world is ripe for revolution. All it needs is a leader, and a spark.
10/16/2021 c3 Thescarredman
I'm well aware of how a story can get the bridle in its teeth and run away with you. It's part of the risk - and wonder - of writer an un-outlined fic that's guided solely by your imagination. Hope you're having more fun than frustration with it.
I'm well aware of how a story can get the bridle in its teeth and run away with you. It's part of the risk - and wonder - of writer an un-outlined fic that's guided solely by your imagination. Hope you're having more fun than frustration with it.
9/28/2021 c5 11TamariMizu
Hi Taerkitty,
Another cool chapter. I liked how Bea-Bea has to treat Sci like a NPC serf in public and a friend in private. I do get some jealousy vibes from Sci's friend over the 'hero' Bristan; even though Sci loves his charger far more than the mount's egotistical and vain master. ;)
One detail that I'm puzzled by: what is the 'hue-hair' concept for the brigands?
Keep writing,
TM
11TamariMizuHi Taerkitty,
Another cool chapter. I liked how Bea-Bea has to treat Sci like a NPC serf in public and a friend in private. I do get some jealousy vibes from Sci's friend over the 'hero' Bristan; even though Sci loves his charger far more than the mount's egotistical and vain master. ;)
One detail that I'm puzzled by: what is the 'hue-hair' concept for the brigands?
Keep writing,
TM
8/17/2021 c4 TamariMizu
Hello again,
I find this chapter is an excellent example of a 'protagonist-centered' morality. If Bristan was the POV character in a JRPG, how much thought would the game player give to the fact that he earned the gratitude of a noblelady who was willing to gift you her maidservant (her best friend too!) for rescuing her? How much thought would the player give to dispatching a bunch of NPC brigands in front of said maid NPC? How much thought would the player give to the fetch quest of retrieving a person except as a vague annoyance?
Back when I played JRPGs, I wouldn't have given any of the above events a second thought (just like looting every strangers home that I walked through!). This chapter is an excellent deconstruction of the tropes that overflow in way too many stories to count.
One quibble: how on earth can Bea-Bea's couch fit an entire studio apartment inside? Is this referencing the whole 'Interiors are bigger than the exteriors of structures' feature of video games?
Keep Writing,
Tamari
Hello again,
I find this chapter is an excellent example of a 'protagonist-centered' morality. If Bristan was the POV character in a JRPG, how much thought would the game player give to the fact that he earned the gratitude of a noblelady who was willing to gift you her maidservant (her best friend too!) for rescuing her? How much thought would the player give to dispatching a bunch of NPC brigands in front of said maid NPC? How much thought would the player give to the fetch quest of retrieving a person except as a vague annoyance?
Back when I played JRPGs, I wouldn't have given any of the above events a second thought (just like looting every strangers home that I walked through!). This chapter is an excellent deconstruction of the tropes that overflow in way too many stories to count.
One quibble: how on earth can Bea-Bea's couch fit an entire studio apartment inside? Is this referencing the whole 'Interiors are bigger than the exteriors of structures' feature of video games?
Keep Writing,
Tamari
7/25/2021 c3 TamariMizu
Hi there!
This chapter confirms to me that being a noble is far more trouble than it is worth. The loveless marriages and political alliances would drive me nuts! I honestly think that Sci is better off forging her own destiny. I also loved the detail that Bristan's charger loves Sci far more than his current master.
Parody doesn't have to be blatant. Bristan's hair color, glowing aura and the stereotypical white stallion are cliches beaten to death in JPRGs. I think you poked fun at the story conventions and blended in an important conversation about Sci's future seamlessly.
Keep writing,
Tamari
Hi there!
This chapter confirms to me that being a noble is far more trouble than it is worth. The loveless marriages and political alliances would drive me nuts! I honestly think that Sci is better off forging her own destiny. I also loved the detail that Bristan's charger loves Sci far more than his current master.
Parody doesn't have to be blatant. Bristan's hair color, glowing aura and the stereotypical white stallion are cliches beaten to death in JPRGs. I think you poked fun at the story conventions and blended in an important conversation about Sci's future seamlessly.
Keep writing,
Tamari
7/22/2021 c2 TamariMizu
Hi Taerkitty,
Once again a fun little romp. I love the idea that poor Sci decided to become an 'NPC maid' to her BFF. The bit with the washboard was inspired (believe it or not more ridiculous weapons exist in JRPGs)! I am reminded of (Final Fantasy VII) Cloud Strife's infamous 'Sword spin', that is impressive enough that even some nameless NPC mooks try to imitate it! This story is worth pursuing especially as it so unique.
Keep writing,
Tamari
Hi Taerkitty,
Once again a fun little romp. I love the idea that poor Sci decided to become an 'NPC maid' to her BFF. The bit with the washboard was inspired (believe it or not more ridiculous weapons exist in JRPGs)! I am reminded of (Final Fantasy VII) Cloud Strife's infamous 'Sword spin', that is impressive enough that even some nameless NPC mooks try to imitate it! This story is worth pursuing especially as it so unique.
Keep writing,
Tamari
7/19/2021 c1 1StarlitDuck
This was very interesting! I love how it seems to take the tropes of the Isekai genre and turn them into something...I'm not gonna lie, something insanely creative. This seems like a really interesting world, and I can't wait to see the adventures that the characters go through.
Great start!
1StarlitDuckThis was very interesting! I love how it seems to take the tropes of the Isekai genre and turn them into something...I'm not gonna lie, something insanely creative. This seems like a really interesting world, and I can't wait to see the adventures that the characters go through.
Great start!
7/18/2021 c1 1Thescarredman
You spoke of your core concept as an overdone cliché. Can't speak to that: I'm no big follower of anime, as you know. What I do know is that, as a person approaching this fic without the baggage of any precedents, I found it to be engaging and entertaining, its style reminding me somewhat of your old 'Sian' serial. Your world-building was clear and economical, immersive even to someone ignorant of the genre or fanon. Your characters are somewhat undeveloped and generic at this point, but the chapter is less than 2k words long after all; Scilla is already a sympathetic character, and that's a good start.
1ThescarredmanYou spoke of your core concept as an overdone cliché. Can't speak to that: I'm no big follower of anime, as you know. What I do know is that, as a person approaching this fic without the baggage of any precedents, I found it to be engaging and entertaining, its style reminding me somewhat of your old 'Sian' serial. Your world-building was clear and economical, immersive even to someone ignorant of the genre or fanon. Your characters are somewhat undeveloped and generic at this point, but the chapter is less than 2k words long after all; Scilla is already a sympathetic character, and that's a good start.
7/18/2021 c1 11TamariMizu
Hi Taerkitty,
First off, I do love the core concept of your story: an 'anti-'-isekai tale if you will. Despite its tired, cliched nature, I can't resist its hokey appeal. The isekai genre has been beaten to death, and yet I even wrote a fanfiction of Shield Hero and penned an original story called 'Silver Sorceress' involving a reincarnator.
I like Sci as an angsty teen who has to contend with a 'coming out' story of sorts. It is never easy to find out that you are different or don't fit societies' expectations.
I have a few ideas that you can take or leave. :)
1) What became of Sci's dad? I felt like that story thread was left hanging.
2) I had to read through the story twice to get that 'NPCs' are the 'natives' of this world. I would suggest using the terms 'reincarnators' and 'PCs' interchangeably to make the distinction clearer.
3) Why not have Sci relegated to the Academy's remedial classes instead of being expelled? She could be shunted into the NPC vocational track and choose between: messenger, serf, girl lost in the woods, town guard, washerwoman hanging out laundry to dry, town guard (saying nothing but: 'Welcome to Isekailopolis!'), redshirt footsoldier or castle maid. I can imagine Sci would hate being considered an inferior being more loathsome than being kicked out of school entirely.
3) I would show Sci touching the tablet (expecting to see a vivid vision of her carefree school days in Japan before being hit by a truck that blew through a red light); however, instead she stands an an empty void room filled with grey mist and sees nothing.
4) Truck-kun should be the god of rebirth; there should be temples dedicated to it. I would also suggest horse drawn carts be designed to resemble box trucks as a form of homage.
Keep writing!
Tamari
11TamariMizuHi Taerkitty,
First off, I do love the core concept of your story: an 'anti-'-isekai tale if you will. Despite its tired, cliched nature, I can't resist its hokey appeal. The isekai genre has been beaten to death, and yet I even wrote a fanfiction of Shield Hero and penned an original story called 'Silver Sorceress' involving a reincarnator.
I like Sci as an angsty teen who has to contend with a 'coming out' story of sorts. It is never easy to find out that you are different or don't fit societies' expectations.
I have a few ideas that you can take or leave. :)
1) What became of Sci's dad? I felt like that story thread was left hanging.
2) I had to read through the story twice to get that 'NPCs' are the 'natives' of this world. I would suggest using the terms 'reincarnators' and 'PCs' interchangeably to make the distinction clearer.
3) Why not have Sci relegated to the Academy's remedial classes instead of being expelled? She could be shunted into the NPC vocational track and choose between: messenger, serf, girl lost in the woods, town guard, washerwoman hanging out laundry to dry, town guard (saying nothing but: 'Welcome to Isekailopolis!'), redshirt footsoldier or castle maid. I can imagine Sci would hate being considered an inferior being more loathsome than being kicked out of school entirely.
3) I would show Sci touching the tablet (expecting to see a vivid vision of her carefree school days in Japan before being hit by a truck that blew through a red light); however, instead she stands an an empty void room filled with grey mist and sees nothing.
4) Truck-kun should be the god of rebirth; there should be temples dedicated to it. I would also suggest horse drawn carts be designed to resemble box trucks as a form of homage.
Keep writing!
Tamari