for Treasure Hunters1/7/2022 c1 
6Viewer27Man
Drastic measures solve all problems…or not.
I am curious about the history and motives of Andrew and his alien ‘crew’ ‘buddies’.
The aliens blew up a wall so they very clearly don’t care about etiquette. It also turned out to be a pointless move to their ends. The call is all they had to do.
By all means Andrew should hate these aliens or not even know them, but to have that fake trap ready he knows them decently well. And despite the hassle they put him through and the fact that he still lives a normal life, too he wants to be with the aliens at least for their job for them.
Even if they’re dumb, I’m still not sure why they thought attacking his office especially for a third time was a good idea…
Then again, if contrasted with Andrew’s threat it shows that the aliens are all action no thought, but Andrew is all thought no real action…
Favorite part: Andrew’s fake threat. Nice bluff that shows a lot about him and the alien crew.
6Viewer27ManDrastic measures solve all problems…or not.
I am curious about the history and motives of Andrew and his alien ‘crew’ ‘buddies’.
The aliens blew up a wall so they very clearly don’t care about etiquette. It also turned out to be a pointless move to their ends. The call is all they had to do.
By all means Andrew should hate these aliens or not even know them, but to have that fake trap ready he knows them decently well. And despite the hassle they put him through and the fact that he still lives a normal life, too he wants to be with the aliens at least for their job for them.
Even if they’re dumb, I’m still not sure why they thought attacking his office especially for a third time was a good idea…
Then again, if contrasted with Andrew’s threat it shows that the aliens are all action no thought, but Andrew is all thought no real action…
Favorite part: Andrew’s fake threat. Nice bluff that shows a lot about him and the alien crew.
1/7/2022 c1 18cud-b-better
Well decided to read this on one of my whims. It might be a good idea to go over it a bit more, the narration sometimes feels like a list of events and doesn't flow as well as it could. I'm interested why the man is helping these aliens and how he got roped into such a thing. I'm guessing this will be talked about later in the story. The dialogue I think is a bit stiff, you wouldn't hear many people talk the way a lot of the characters are doing. In addition some of the word choices hamper the reading experience.
Below are a few errors/suggestions I noticed, sorry, because I can't just copy and paste the text I was too lazy to pull everything I spotted.
He hoped his feeling were wrong, "Please god. Make sure that those feelings are wrong." - The dialogue is just repeating exactly what the narration has already said. So I'd stick with one or the other. It would also be these feelings not those feelings.
I am at [my job] right now. - [work]
blew up the wall of his [working place]. - [office]
The [true] is the [true] - [truth]
how much it wasn't [like] him to act like [that] - [add in] [this]
we are [robbing] off on this human - [rubbing]
he tried to escape her grasp to not success - he tried, unsuccessfully, to escape her grasp.
Anyway, in terms of verdict, I like the concept itself, but the technical aspects ruin it a bit. However, please do keep at it, and sorry if my review is too negative.
18cud-b-betterWell decided to read this on one of my whims. It might be a good idea to go over it a bit more, the narration sometimes feels like a list of events and doesn't flow as well as it could. I'm interested why the man is helping these aliens and how he got roped into such a thing. I'm guessing this will be talked about later in the story. The dialogue I think is a bit stiff, you wouldn't hear many people talk the way a lot of the characters are doing. In addition some of the word choices hamper the reading experience.
Below are a few errors/suggestions I noticed, sorry, because I can't just copy and paste the text I was too lazy to pull everything I spotted.
He hoped his feeling were wrong, "Please god. Make sure that those feelings are wrong." - The dialogue is just repeating exactly what the narration has already said. So I'd stick with one or the other. It would also be these feelings not those feelings.
I am at [my job] right now. - [work]
blew up the wall of his [working place]. - [office]
The [true] is the [true] - [truth]
how much it wasn't [like] him to act like [that] - [add in] [this]
we are [robbing] off on this human - [rubbing]
he tried to escape her grasp to not success - he tried, unsuccessfully, to escape her grasp.
Anyway, in terms of verdict, I like the concept itself, but the technical aspects ruin it a bit. However, please do keep at it, and sorry if my review is too negative.
12/26/2021 c5 6Darth Zannacross
Well we have quite a time gap in today's chapter, though I guess the entire story has not been the span of thousands of years lol.
Desperate times lead to humans and " aliens" uniting but we will see how stable this unlikely alliance lasts.
6Darth ZannacrossWell we have quite a time gap in today's chapter, though I guess the entire story has not been the span of thousands of years lol.
Desperate times lead to humans and " aliens" uniting but we will see how stable this unlikely alliance lasts.
12/23/2021 c4 Darth Zannacross
As we get back to these treasure hunters we find out something even worst then monsters, pregnancy! Well, might be the most difficult task yet lol.
Depends on if Mark lives up to the hype though.
As we get back to these treasure hunters we find out something even worst then monsters, pregnancy! Well, might be the most difficult task yet lol.
Depends on if Mark lives up to the hype though.
10/3/2021 c3 Darth Zannacross
And today we indeed get to see what is going on with this Samurai Woman, and the conclusion is, she knows how to get things done, much to are crew's dismay. Well, they eluded this killer's blade for now but we will see how stubborn she can be I suppose.
And today we indeed get to see what is going on with this Samurai Woman, and the conclusion is, she knows how to get things done, much to are crew's dismay. Well, they eluded this killer's blade for now but we will see how stubborn she can be I suppose.
10/1/2021 c2 Darth Zannacross
Back to hunting for some treasure as we go to the underground.
We busted up some robots but its not sure if the treasure is fools gold or not but we will find out soon. And true, pocket dimensions seem harder then a map but we will see see how your world works more soon I guess.
Back to hunting for some treasure as we go to the underground.
We busted up some robots but its not sure if the treasure is fools gold or not but we will find out soon. And true, pocket dimensions seem harder then a map but we will see see how your world works more soon I guess.
8/9/2021 c1 3Flute Ocean
Interesting setup. I admire the "jumping right in" to things without needing a lot of build up or exposition, yet I still get a good idea of who people are and their relation to each other and what they're up to. There's still the question of why and how, but I'm sure those will come out soon. I will say there's some spelling errors to look back through but, all in all, a nice start and it should be interesting to see what happens next.
3Flute OceanInteresting setup. I admire the "jumping right in" to things without needing a lot of build up or exposition, yet I still get a good idea of who people are and their relation to each other and what they're up to. There's still the question of why and how, but I'm sure those will come out soon. I will say there's some spelling errors to look back through but, all in all, a nice start and it should be interesting to see what happens next.
8/6/2021 c1 6Darth Zannacross
We got some treasure to find today, should be a fun ride.
We are off to a rough start with Vibra breathing down Andrew's neck but it seems the real trouble will be what happens when Andrew gets to the bottom of this tablet.
6Darth ZannacrossWe got some treasure to find today, should be a fun ride.
We are off to a rough start with Vibra breathing down Andrew's neck but it seems the real trouble will be what happens when Andrew gets to the bottom of this tablet.