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for The Cosmic Serpent

10/16 c1 8Mislav
Very fun and action-packed story. I liked the in-media-res way you opened it: "Marta Gartelli hurled the spanner across the room, momentarily drawing the demon's attention. The being, a shambling mound of hissing worms, sprinted towards it with supernatural celerity. Each step was a parody of human gait, but Marta was not there to see it. She sprinted around a corner, desperately hoping for salvation in the equipment storage."

That alien looked truly disgusting; a mound of hissing worms. Great job with the description. I especially liked how you described the carnage here, in the middle of the battle: "She ripped her eyes away from Captain Joan, who sat impaled on her chair. She saw the stain that had once been their pilot, Martel Adams, right after the creature materialized inside the ship." And this description: "The worm-thing hunched over, staring at it like a parody of a hunchbacked human." I loved how the power armored soldier bisected the alien in a single hit. Keep up the great work. I always have fun reading your stories.

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