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for Ballin' Pranksters Classics (Original Series) - Issue 3

2/15 c12 Mirandamau
I like your main lead. I am so interested in your work. My name is Miranda an editor for a fast-growing platform. May I know how to reach you professionally?
1/7 c12 Ways
Okay, so I have mixed feelings about this one.
On the one hand, I feel really good about this chapter in regards to character interaction, action and overall emotion involved. All of that was stellar and you really should pat yourself on the back for that. Fight on the rooftop was easily one of your best yet and made for a very intense read.
However, on the other hand while you've set up this mystery I leave myself asking way too many questions in regards to character motivations and their place in the world you've set up.
Most notably Lord Zenith Prime and where he is. Why does he care so much about Michelle's journal and a bunch of kids in general? He seems to know about big guys like the elementals and other heroes. Why exactly is he here and worrying about the Ballin' Pranksters so much? I'm aware that you're setting up for greater things and that you're setting up a greater world and a greater threat but it feels in a place that doesn't quite feel plausible yet. But I'm curious to see how you'll tackle this moving forward, I'm probably jumping the gun in this criticism right now but I can't help but feel that you ramped things up to 11 really quick and it left me wondering why for a lot of the decisions.
Speaking of, I am very curious about the direction you've chosen for Michelle and how you've decided to go forward with her thinking Charlotte is the culprit in all of this. It's set up a very interesting conflict for the gang that I can't help but be curious about and see where exactly you're taking it.
And seeing her lash out at Greg as well was also a treat. God, I feel for the kid and I think this moment set him up as my favorite of the bunch. Seeing such a divide within the gang again, made for a very tense and emotional read which you delivered on very well. I loved that.

All in all, this was good. I still have my concerns but I'm also very excited to see how you're gonna handle it moving forward because I do genuinely think you can stick the landing with this. Good work, man.
1/5 c11 Ways
Okay, wow. That was a lot.
For starters, you really owned the tension in this one. Every moment here had me on the edge of my seat with how it was played and I really loved that.
Seeing us come up to speed on where things were is fun since we're now in uncharted territory and I'm very much looking forward to where you go with everything.
Good work.
1/4 c10 Ways
Good stuff here.
Watching everyone sneak around while facing the moral ambiguity of it all was fun and I really enjoyed watching Wayne get into the fray haha.
All good stuff here.
1/3 c9 Ways
Good stuff here.
The part that really stuck out to me had to be the exchange between Gregory and his sister. Watching them run around the house was pretty fun and there was a lot of good movement with your characters there that I could very easily immerse myself into. But the more emotional aspect of it, allowing the two of them to connect in the way that they did made for some great character development for Greg which I appreciate. I hope the kid gets to stand up for himself later. And while I don't think you're going to break them up, she makes a very strong point about Michelle and Vanessa not really being good friends to him. It was a very strong scene all in all.
And the rest was fun too. I especially enjoyed the flashback with the school play.
Fun times were had by all.
Good work!
1/3 c8 Ways
This was a good one.
Training montage and pranks make for a fun time.
12/31/2021 c7 Ways
Nice one.
Learning a little bit about Withers family past and how much of an asshole he was was great. The brother character has me a little interested though, I'm unsure of how to feel about him at the moment.
Gregory dealing with his family is always a fun time.
And the third degree with the school is kinda insane and I'm wondering where things are gonna go. I don't think the Pranksters will be caught but I'm interested.
But the fact that the story changed so much...? Hmmmmm maybe whoever is doing this has power over illusion and isn't a shape shifter or a time Traveller or even Charlotte at all but is masking themselves with illusions. But that's just another theory.
And the ending has me excited to see where things go.
Good work!
12/29/2021 c6 Ways
As always, Charlotte chapters are best chapters and I really really like her.
Right off the bat, I guess I stand corrected when it comes to Michelle being stubborn but obviously something else is going on. My money is currently on time travel and this is like a darkest timeline Michelle that's coming back to deal with the Pranksters before they're too powerful or something? That or a shapeshifter. But I'm betting on time travel.
Otherwise, the reveal was played really well and Michelle's anger shocked me a bit but it made for some interesting imagery what with the orange blood and all. You've clearly left a lot more intrigue with this mystery since there's clearly more going on there.
As for Charlotte, you did a good job expanding upon the relationship between her and Wendy here, actually solidifying it as being a little more genuine than the clique vibes they gave off before. Kudos.
I also very much enjoyed the flashback and learning more of why she's the way she is. She's easily the one of the deepest characters in this story and I really like learning about her.
And the end with Eartha added even more to that and I'm looking forward to her story.
Good work!
12/29/2021 c5 Ways
Great stuff here.
Seeing the kids sneak around was a lot of fun. While things still feel very jovial, you also managed to portray the air of this sort of forbidden energy to everything they were doing which I appreciate.
Michelle still not being able to accept that Charlotte isn't responsible is a tad frustrating but still in character.
And the fight at the end was wild and trippy but made for a good time. I liked it a lot and am looking forward to where things go.
Good work.
11/29/2021 c4 Ways
Solid chapter here.
A lot of nice character moments and overall a good time.
Eartha as always is a treat, the scene between Dakoto and his mother was nice and the stuff with Dakota getting hit was really funny.
The heist will be interesting and I'm curious to see how that goes. Good work.
11/26/2021 c3 Ways
Great work here.
I very much enjoyed reading this one.
Right off the bat, I have to compliment how well you do at writing kids as people who are growing and developing and figuring things out. Things like Charlotte trying to flirt but also not being sure of herself in that and Michelle still being a little bit of a jerk and not understanding why is very good. None of them are perfect, they all got their own stuff, they're learning. It's good.
The rehearsals were a fun time and the Mario reference got some good chuckles out of me. I also really loved the scene between Jasmine and Mack, it was genuinely adorable and pure and I loved that.
And the principal is certainly quite the character but those are some interesting developments we've got with her now. Hmmmmmm even more questions. Also, I'm glad that Michelle has to apologize to everyone, she absolutely deserves that.

Good work here. It's been really nicely done and I'm looking forward to more.
11/26/2021 c2 Ways
Good stuff here.
I greatly appreciate the emotional stuff between Michelle, Dakota and her dad. It was great and definitely took the divorce stuff a lot more seriously. That is something I greatly appreciate and I'm interested in the direction things are taking with couples therapy.
Eartha at the end was very fun as always and all in all provided a good time.

Nice work.
11/25/2021 c1 Ways
Great work with this one.
I greatly appreciate a lot of the flashbacks and introspective you gave with the characters here.
Made for a good opening and a good read. Good work.
11/16/2021 c12 CH3AHC4AFT
I nearly forgot! I like to highlight some fun things in here.

With the reveal that we are faced with an alien supervillain, I am already putting my bet on that Angus Briggs: "Possibly An Alien" is Actually An Alien! I might be proven wrong, but I think he is a minion to Zenith Prime! For now, I am going to place my bet on this until we see if Angus is just pretending or in fact a real alien.

I like the small comments Eartha looked through until the mood drops for her. Two that surprise me are one asking about to join NovelStar (now that is going to scare off people who constantly try to convince others to join that website) and another one about you mentioning that you quit FanFiction (which got me a little concerned, but I am not sure if the implications I thought of would be true).

Karma hits Susan once again. Again, points for biting her in the rear end! And second, we scared the ever-loving crap out of her with a ghost. I know this might not be a good thing to say, but poor Susan. I am already starting to like her getting all the kicks, but I'm starting to feel sorry for her. It's really funny!

This scene that got me chuckling: Wayne about to show his kung-fu skills when he first appears to the Ballin' Pranksters...and accidentally bending his back a little. "Ow!...My back!" That's it.
11/14/2021 c12 CH3AHC4AFT
What a twist there! At first, for the first two issues, we are under the impression of a fun, high school chase with a devious person causing trouble between people. I don't mind so far, however, my hype got higher when seeing the ultimate reveal. This has caught me by surprise and let me know that this is going to be wild. We actually have a real supervillain who is messing with the Ballin' Pranksters; an alien warrior and lord Zenith Prime who is aiming to take over the world. However, even though we don't know why he stole the notebook in the first place, I think that he wanted to cause mayhem and chaos first to place the humans off track so that they won't get into his way. And it might be an effective way of getting them to destroy each other which doesn't appear to be the case when the Ballin' Pranksters found out that Charlotte is not guilty.

We are given about the possible things of how Michelle and Charlotte had a falling. On one hand, Michelle thinks that Charlotte abandoned her for wealth. However, Charlotte has a different side to the story; she revealed that there was a misunderstanding one day at the playground, a group of children laughed at her and Michelle was one of them. Whatever happened, what was revealed must be pretty ugly. Even Charlotte admits that she manipulated her friends into thinking that Michelle has bad intentions to make them feel ashamed, showing that she has the courage to actually admit that she is wrong on some parts. It seems that with how the students are nearly going apart, high school pressure with being strong or a 'doormat' (as Michelle puts it to be) and the need to be listened, the truth starts to slowly become blurred and any meaning to who is guilty is nearly lost. It just shows how cruel or horrifying it can be with young children and teenagers trying to present themselves as in the right with only some of the right ones to be ignored due to unintentional toxicity or confusing signs. When there is blood in the water, no one is going to know whose blood is the first to be in there.

It gets worse when the Ballin' Pranksters fail to get back Michelle's notebook and actually took Charlotte's personal diary. And with that, I have a feeling that one might read it to look into her life a little, but I am scared that one of them might read it to the school announcements as revenge. At this point, Michelle is in a state of stress and doesn't seem to think through about her teammates' concerns; Mad Potion is already starting to like being a superhero and now focused about wanting to take down the alien supervillain since we have no idea what he will do; Gregory is already doubting about Michelle's care towards him because Molly puts it painfully straight that maybe she might not be a good friend. All of this and Michelle puts her frustration onto Gregory by calling him a doormat.

This is getting intense and we are at Issue 3! We are still far from the finale, but things are becoming high stakes! Eartha is slowly becoming mad with catching the Ballin' Pranksters in hopes of continuing her career, there is an alien supervillain roaming around who might continue to place harm on the school and the Ballin' Pranksters may have to cooperate if they want to tackle the situation. This is awesome so far and I am looking forward to see where this will go!

In this story, I feel like we looked through more on the memory lane. It is really heartfelt because it is like one of those journeys where we look through back to the good old days when we were young. It is sad because of how nearly far apart people are, but these good memories help to preserve understanding and goodness of others.

Keep on rocking!
- Cheah
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