for Power of the Elements: Recharge5/8/2023 c13 
4decode9
So we finally get to see more of the Earth Radiants, and a nice bit of lore dumping was done for this.
4decode9So we finally get to see more of the Earth Radiants, and a nice bit of lore dumping was done for this.
4/21/2023 c12 decode9
And thus the first of many enemies is beaten. Margaret is gone, but it appears an old foes influence was in the background. Now I just wonder what exactly this old manuscript was about. Also is there a possibility of finding out what's going on in with Selena-Ja and the Dark Radiant? Because I am really curious about the events happening over there.
And thus the first of many enemies is beaten. Margaret is gone, but it appears an old foes influence was in the background. Now I just wonder what exactly this old manuscript was about. Also is there a possibility of finding out what's going on in with Selena-Ja and the Dark Radiant? Because I am really curious about the events happening over there.
4/14/2023 c11 decode9
Okay. These last few chapters have been crazy, but looks like we are about to reach the climax of this arc, and I for one am excited! I have enjoyed these adventures so far and the bonding the group has gone through.
Okay. These last few chapters have been crazy, but looks like we are about to reach the climax of this arc, and I for one am excited! I have enjoyed these adventures so far and the bonding the group has gone through.
4/8/2023 c4 6Viewer27Man
The mastermind lady finds an woman in a leotard. Then after some that include some training normal days our heroes have split up on another normal day for lunch. The guys discuss burgers, a food show, philosophy of unhealthy eating, avoiding using powers in real-world politics, and what the local school is like, including a short-lived pizza-strictness policy. Meanwhile our 3 heroines discuss activities activities they do and don't do and get close to talking about past drama. Then our hero talks to his mother and learns that grandpa is coming to town. Meanwhile the people in the other dimension list 3 rage-related mcguffins to try to guess the mastermind lady's plans. Then our heroes discuss a carnival coming to town that had issues including potentially an imploding clown. Our heroes then go to the carnival, find that it is in poor care and sucks and decide to stay anyway. Our heroes get annoyed by everything they come across at the carnival. However, they find their entertainment when they sense then find a monster acting out the leotard woman's rage right beside her, trying to kill a man. After revealing she's aware to some extent of the situation and that she used to work at the carnival, our heroes try to tell her what she should've done instead of getting mad and she gets angrier. The ninja ally knocks her out then the heroes fight the monster that specializes in juggling attacks. Our heroes defeat the juggling monster by hitting it with a decent elemental blow from all of them, with our main fire hero dealing the final blow. Afterwards they call in the normal appropriate authorities, and discuss how the monster stuff could have lasting consequences on the victims. Our heroes avow to train more.
We get some slice of life aspects and a declared separation between this world and the fantasy world. We get a fight scene where they all fight the same monster. Nothing too new to the fight but it seemed more difficult than the last one.
Some of the dialogue seemed a little strange. In the burger discussion Jake seems surprised that the place was in some food show, but somehow knows how the episode went without any comment recalling it later or looking it up.
Ryu's interjection on how he wouldn't eat all that much feels kind of wordy for what he's saying.
The girls' conversation transitioning from social media to cheerleading seems like a sudden topic shift.
Also 'imploding' might not be the clearest term here. I'm not exactly sure if the clown had an emotional breakdown (which seems like it would make more sense) or if we're talking a literal implosion, which would probably involve something deflating... Because it is constantly referred to as 'imploding' and declared possibly a rumor, that implies that it could've been an actual implosion happening, but I'm not sure how that would work in this context...
The weight-guessing guy is really weird.
The fact that they stay at the bad carnival as long as they do seems kind of weird, since it seems like their first impression. It feels like they're staying mainly because the plot needs them to. I think if one of them said they had a good time at an earlier visit, it might make more sense to give this place the small chance they do.
Helen's furious talk is mindlessly blunt on her part. The way she refers to the heroes by element seems a bit odd as I think she'd care more about them being an obstacle and is clearly not very patient right now. It is different than the past cases that she seems aware that she's able to spawn a monster and Mistress M. I take it she was a normal person with a grudge before she met the villain but the monster and power stuff doesn't seem new to her by her dialogue.
The heroes' attempt to talk her down seems odd since I'm not sure if they're aware if anger is the problem yet since this is the first victim who was able to talk to them. Whether they know or not, I feel like asking her about the 7-foot monster in the room or at least a 'back down' statement would come before asking about why she's so mad.
There's narration about the Light Radiant in the middle of the fight that is very strange. It seems like it could be dialogue. If it wasn't for the 'Right now? Focus on her.' part I could see a narrator saying this as a cliffhanger into a commercial if this was a show. But it seems equally likely that some force might be observing.
Favorite Part: Aqua and Bolt facing the boss's juggling gimmick in the fight.
6Viewer27ManThe mastermind lady finds an woman in a leotard. Then after some that include some training normal days our heroes have split up on another normal day for lunch. The guys discuss burgers, a food show, philosophy of unhealthy eating, avoiding using powers in real-world politics, and what the local school is like, including a short-lived pizza-strictness policy. Meanwhile our 3 heroines discuss activities activities they do and don't do and get close to talking about past drama. Then our hero talks to his mother and learns that grandpa is coming to town. Meanwhile the people in the other dimension list 3 rage-related mcguffins to try to guess the mastermind lady's plans. Then our heroes discuss a carnival coming to town that had issues including potentially an imploding clown. Our heroes then go to the carnival, find that it is in poor care and sucks and decide to stay anyway. Our heroes get annoyed by everything they come across at the carnival. However, they find their entertainment when they sense then find a monster acting out the leotard woman's rage right beside her, trying to kill a man. After revealing she's aware to some extent of the situation and that she used to work at the carnival, our heroes try to tell her what she should've done instead of getting mad and she gets angrier. The ninja ally knocks her out then the heroes fight the monster that specializes in juggling attacks. Our heroes defeat the juggling monster by hitting it with a decent elemental blow from all of them, with our main fire hero dealing the final blow. Afterwards they call in the normal appropriate authorities, and discuss how the monster stuff could have lasting consequences on the victims. Our heroes avow to train more.
We get some slice of life aspects and a declared separation between this world and the fantasy world. We get a fight scene where they all fight the same monster. Nothing too new to the fight but it seemed more difficult than the last one.
Some of the dialogue seemed a little strange. In the burger discussion Jake seems surprised that the place was in some food show, but somehow knows how the episode went without any comment recalling it later or looking it up.
Ryu's interjection on how he wouldn't eat all that much feels kind of wordy for what he's saying.
The girls' conversation transitioning from social media to cheerleading seems like a sudden topic shift.
Also 'imploding' might not be the clearest term here. I'm not exactly sure if the clown had an emotional breakdown (which seems like it would make more sense) or if we're talking a literal implosion, which would probably involve something deflating... Because it is constantly referred to as 'imploding' and declared possibly a rumor, that implies that it could've been an actual implosion happening, but I'm not sure how that would work in this context...
The weight-guessing guy is really weird.
The fact that they stay at the bad carnival as long as they do seems kind of weird, since it seems like their first impression. It feels like they're staying mainly because the plot needs them to. I think if one of them said they had a good time at an earlier visit, it might make more sense to give this place the small chance they do.
Helen's furious talk is mindlessly blunt on her part. The way she refers to the heroes by element seems a bit odd as I think she'd care more about them being an obstacle and is clearly not very patient right now. It is different than the past cases that she seems aware that she's able to spawn a monster and Mistress M. I take it she was a normal person with a grudge before she met the villain but the monster and power stuff doesn't seem new to her by her dialogue.
The heroes' attempt to talk her down seems odd since I'm not sure if they're aware if anger is the problem yet since this is the first victim who was able to talk to them. Whether they know or not, I feel like asking her about the 7-foot monster in the room or at least a 'back down' statement would come before asking about why she's so mad.
There's narration about the Light Radiant in the middle of the fight that is very strange. It seems like it could be dialogue. If it wasn't for the 'Right now? Focus on her.' part I could see a narrator saying this as a cliffhanger into a commercial if this was a show. But it seems equally likely that some force might be observing.
Favorite Part: Aqua and Bolt facing the boss's juggling gimmick in the fight.
3/28/2023 c10 4decode9
Well Margaret has finally lost it. Yet I'm now concerned about whatever she is planning to make her plan complete.
4decode9Well Margaret has finally lost it. Yet I'm now concerned about whatever she is planning to make her plan complete.
3/10/2023 c9 decode9
Okay the insults with random names on M was hilarious as was there being so many accused witches named Mary. Though we got a look at a possible future for there home...that is pretty grim to note. Though yeah had a feeling that M was receiving the energy from the battles as it makes sense. Yet they seem to have a problem coming there way...fun.
Okay the insults with random names on M was hilarious as was there being so many accused witches named Mary. Though we got a look at a possible future for there home...that is pretty grim to note. Though yeah had a feeling that M was receiving the energy from the battles as it makes sense. Yet they seem to have a problem coming there way...fun.
2/4/2023 c3 6Viewer27Man
Our hero makes his secret short-lived secret to his new friends in a battle with rabbit monsters. After a clash of fire, fists, and trolling vs biting and more trolling, the monster bunnies, who apparently die in 1 hit, retreat and in following them our hero once again finds the mastermind lady. She reveals the source of the rabbit monsters: the rage of muscle men. After claiming that she needs more rage for something vague that sounds important she retreats before the ninja lady from another dimension appears to swear the hero's friends to secrecy in the following conversation explaining the fantasy elements. Then following some plotting from the villain in the meanwhile and an attempt to train from our hero, his 3 new friends get elemental powers of lightning, water, and light. After being introduced to the alternate dimension base world, and the names of all the elements in this story, they undergo training, which apparently involves getting the tar beaten out of them. Just a day later they intercept another bunny monster attack, only they're green this time. Our water and lightning heroes get fight scenes of their own while the light hero seems timid and gets a team up fight scene with the fire hero. Weaponizing the park sites, our heroes kill the wabbits but the mastermind lady escapes again not seeming to mind all that much.
A lot happens this chapter with two fights and all. The second fight is practically the same as the first except the new heroes get their first fight.
The fight scenes themselves are short, but they're good. The scene in the weight room in the first one shows Jake's super strength well. The second fight shows off our new elemental protagonists' abilities and the way they fight. Ryu is pretty tactical for being so gungho and seems to like to set up for big flashy finales. Christina uses a combination of keeping her distance with a surprising level of brute force (If I read this right, her feat of strength here might be the most impressive feat of super strength I've read in this story so far). Amy is timid and needs back up, but is willing to be supportive. Jake likes to make sure people are safe and beyond that just goes in attacking however he feels.
In the first fight scene the part where he slams his fist into a door to kill the rabbit monster seems a bit unclear to me. It sounds like the rabbit was stuck to his fist when he did this.
Things I find a bit weird:
The fact that the rabbit monsters die so easily. They go poof after impact with just walls and doors from what I read. It's weird that they scared a crowd unless the crowd was afraid of them kind of like fear of a swarm of mice getting into a room. Also I don't see any description of Jake's slamming them into stuff to be particularly strong in any way (I assume that Jake is slamming them with superhuman force is why they die). Also, while I'm sure it could kill them too, I have a feeling normal bunnies could take the even degrees of superhuman slams at least better than the bunny monsters do, as described at least. The fact that hitting the wall kills them likely crosses out the idea that only Jake's powers can hurt them as opposed to normal physical impact. Without an requiring superhuman level of force or some immunity to normal damage thing, unless there's something I missed, the crowd that fled from them last chapter seems like they could've probably taken these monsters if they tried.
The new friends' responses to Jake's revelation talk about him like he's already some kind of hero after the explanation. This is weird because he feels like he's just in training especially since the powers are technically extremely new to him only days old. It's not like he's known these new friends for much longer either, meaning they haven't really gotten to know him all that well yet.
Christina's questioning of the wisdom of accepting an offer for powers on a whim was fine, but her follow up being because Jake isn't asking for anything return seemed weird. It reads to me like she's criticizing his character when that has little to do with the actual issue. The actual reason to be cautious of accepting something like this on a whim is basically the same as being cautious of someone offering to sell you something out of the blue: What does the seller want out of it?
Lastly some of the dialogue and thoughts are somewhat difficult to follow without rereading. The scene when the new powers are about to be given seems to show Jake's thoughts as narration for example.
Note: I have a lot to say, but don't take my critique as good vs bad.
This is what I mean: this is how parts of the story I noticed look to me. Is this what you want in your story?
Favorite Part:
The fact that the source of these rabbit monsters is muscle man rage. That's hilarious.
6Viewer27ManOur hero makes his secret short-lived secret to his new friends in a battle with rabbit monsters. After a clash of fire, fists, and trolling vs biting and more trolling, the monster bunnies, who apparently die in 1 hit, retreat and in following them our hero once again finds the mastermind lady. She reveals the source of the rabbit monsters: the rage of muscle men. After claiming that she needs more rage for something vague that sounds important she retreats before the ninja lady from another dimension appears to swear the hero's friends to secrecy in the following conversation explaining the fantasy elements. Then following some plotting from the villain in the meanwhile and an attempt to train from our hero, his 3 new friends get elemental powers of lightning, water, and light. After being introduced to the alternate dimension base world, and the names of all the elements in this story, they undergo training, which apparently involves getting the tar beaten out of them. Just a day later they intercept another bunny monster attack, only they're green this time. Our water and lightning heroes get fight scenes of their own while the light hero seems timid and gets a team up fight scene with the fire hero. Weaponizing the park sites, our heroes kill the wabbits but the mastermind lady escapes again not seeming to mind all that much.
A lot happens this chapter with two fights and all. The second fight is practically the same as the first except the new heroes get their first fight.
The fight scenes themselves are short, but they're good. The scene in the weight room in the first one shows Jake's super strength well. The second fight shows off our new elemental protagonists' abilities and the way they fight. Ryu is pretty tactical for being so gungho and seems to like to set up for big flashy finales. Christina uses a combination of keeping her distance with a surprising level of brute force (If I read this right, her feat of strength here might be the most impressive feat of super strength I've read in this story so far). Amy is timid and needs back up, but is willing to be supportive. Jake likes to make sure people are safe and beyond that just goes in attacking however he feels.
In the first fight scene the part where he slams his fist into a door to kill the rabbit monster seems a bit unclear to me. It sounds like the rabbit was stuck to his fist when he did this.
Things I find a bit weird:
The fact that the rabbit monsters die so easily. They go poof after impact with just walls and doors from what I read. It's weird that they scared a crowd unless the crowd was afraid of them kind of like fear of a swarm of mice getting into a room. Also I don't see any description of Jake's slamming them into stuff to be particularly strong in any way (I assume that Jake is slamming them with superhuman force is why they die). Also, while I'm sure it could kill them too, I have a feeling normal bunnies could take the even degrees of superhuman slams at least better than the bunny monsters do, as described at least. The fact that hitting the wall kills them likely crosses out the idea that only Jake's powers can hurt them as opposed to normal physical impact. Without an requiring superhuman level of force or some immunity to normal damage thing, unless there's something I missed, the crowd that fled from them last chapter seems like they could've probably taken these monsters if they tried.
The new friends' responses to Jake's revelation talk about him like he's already some kind of hero after the explanation. This is weird because he feels like he's just in training especially since the powers are technically extremely new to him only days old. It's not like he's known these new friends for much longer either, meaning they haven't really gotten to know him all that well yet.
Christina's questioning of the wisdom of accepting an offer for powers on a whim was fine, but her follow up being because Jake isn't asking for anything return seemed weird. It reads to me like she's criticizing his character when that has little to do with the actual issue. The actual reason to be cautious of accepting something like this on a whim is basically the same as being cautious of someone offering to sell you something out of the blue: What does the seller want out of it?
Lastly some of the dialogue and thoughts are somewhat difficult to follow without rereading. The scene when the new powers are about to be given seems to show Jake's thoughts as narration for example.
Note: I have a lot to say, but don't take my critique as good vs bad.
This is what I mean: this is how parts of the story I noticed look to me. Is this what you want in your story?
Favorite Part:
The fact that the source of these rabbit monsters is muscle man rage. That's hilarious.
2/2/2023 c7 4decode9
Okay. She really did a number this chapter. Getting the rage of a large group of people is really going to accelerate things.
4decode9Okay. She really did a number this chapter. Getting the rage of a large group of people is really going to accelerate things.
1/18/2023 c6 decode9
And that makes Wind finally gotten. So we have our first six, learned about the rest, and M seems to be speeding up her time table. To be honest the fight scenes are pretty good. I just hope you get them up to scale of some of the other fight scenes in the old ones. Still hopefully we learn more about Ms. Frost as she's the one I'm most curious about. Well her and the Shadow/Dark Radiant. Till next time.
And that makes Wind finally gotten. So we have our first six, learned about the rest, and M seems to be speeding up her time table. To be honest the fight scenes are pretty good. I just hope you get them up to scale of some of the other fight scenes in the old ones. Still hopefully we learn more about Ms. Frost as she's the one I'm most curious about. Well her and the Shadow/Dark Radiant. Till next time.
1/1/2023 c2 6Viewer27Man
After the fight and rest from our hero, the two other-dimensional aliens discuss future plans and a bit of what just happened. They take him because he's the fire guy and his sister because...she's in on the secret to their universe using his wardrobe as a portal. In the new world with apparent energy fixes to complicated things and magic our hero gets owned in training and his sister tries the food and gets introduced to bird people. When they're done in the other dimension, then they hang out with the 2 decent girls they met a day or two ago along with a new guy. After discussing some rumors of a prankster the place is attacked by killer rabbits and our hero is ready to spoil his surprise to his new friends in this emergency.
There are spots in here where it's tricky to know who's saying what especially in the cafe scene.
Also it is not exactly clear from the description how big these 'killer rabbits' are. I'm assuming they're pretty big like the size of a bear or something. If they weren't really big they'd have to get in clear wounds or kills to get that kind of panic and I don't think this is Monty Python...
Making the sister important as a named character seems a bit silly so far.
Favorite Part: Trainer promises to go easy on the trainee. Next scene the trainee is in the infirmary.
6Viewer27ManAfter the fight and rest from our hero, the two other-dimensional aliens discuss future plans and a bit of what just happened. They take him because he's the fire guy and his sister because...she's in on the secret to their universe using his wardrobe as a portal. In the new world with apparent energy fixes to complicated things and magic our hero gets owned in training and his sister tries the food and gets introduced to bird people. When they're done in the other dimension, then they hang out with the 2 decent girls they met a day or two ago along with a new guy. After discussing some rumors of a prankster the place is attacked by killer rabbits and our hero is ready to spoil his surprise to his new friends in this emergency.
There are spots in here where it's tricky to know who's saying what especially in the cafe scene.
Also it is not exactly clear from the description how big these 'killer rabbits' are. I'm assuming they're pretty big like the size of a bear or something. If they weren't really big they'd have to get in clear wounds or kills to get that kind of panic and I don't think this is Monty Python...
Making the sister important as a named character seems a bit silly so far.
Favorite Part: Trainer promises to go easy on the trainee. Next scene the trainee is in the infirmary.
12/30/2022 c4 4decode9
No one new this time, but don't got a problem with that. Honestly I'm curious about the others who haven't been seen yet. I'm looking forward to getting more backstory on everything.
4decode9No one new this time, but don't got a problem with that. Honestly I'm curious about the others who haven't been seen yet. I'm looking forward to getting more backstory on everything.
12/30/2022 c1 6Viewer27Man
After foreshadowing by guys speaking of Earth like they aren't there, we get introduced to our likely protagonist. Our normal hero guy, with no known particular interest, and his wise-cracking little sister walk around their recently moved to town and meet a couple of bullies and two other girls. On a walk through a park they find a red, glowy fire crystal shipped to Jake with instructional trainer included absolutely free. Then he fights a hairy monster of the pilot episode led by a mysterious parasol mastermind lady to kill at least 1 guy. The trainer is stronger, but Jake needs the experience points, so the trainer opts to just watch and act as a safety net. Our hero then uses a big dramatic fiery punch with a name yelled loud and clear to finish the monster. Our hero is no longer bored.
Overall, this story looks like it is supposed to be cheesy and fun.
The dialogue is all used to explain things that are happening to the audience. It works pretty naturally for the parts before the fire crystal scene, explaining they recently moved and their general situation. The strangest part is Jake's replies to Robert, but Robert's making it awkward by being a blatant bully anyway. It seems like Jake's seen or been through something like this before to reply like he did.
Most of the grammar mistakes I could find are in and after the fire crystal scene. Improving that would help with clarity.
Once we get to the mystic stuff, the dialogue serves to explain what is going on, and does that well enough, however, the flow seems somewhat unnatural to me. Pilot feels like an alien trying to explain a magic system he knows very well to someone who never knew about it caring more about the details than a believable explanation. Even stranger are Jake's responses to everything with the mystic stuff that only make sense for one familiar with the tropes. He's either got instincts built in for this stuff or he's seen a lot of anime/manga/sentai...
There will probably be a reason why Pilot didn't take any initiative to 'arrest' the mastermind lady or something like that since they had time to talk to her later and Jake had his monster.
Favorite Part:
Tina's responses to Jake's receiving of power. This is closer to what I'd ask. I'd think the dude was a conman with flashy lights/tech at first.
6Viewer27ManAfter foreshadowing by guys speaking of Earth like they aren't there, we get introduced to our likely protagonist. Our normal hero guy, with no known particular interest, and his wise-cracking little sister walk around their recently moved to town and meet a couple of bullies and two other girls. On a walk through a park they find a red, glowy fire crystal shipped to Jake with instructional trainer included absolutely free. Then he fights a hairy monster of the pilot episode led by a mysterious parasol mastermind lady to kill at least 1 guy. The trainer is stronger, but Jake needs the experience points, so the trainer opts to just watch and act as a safety net. Our hero then uses a big dramatic fiery punch with a name yelled loud and clear to finish the monster. Our hero is no longer bored.
Overall, this story looks like it is supposed to be cheesy and fun.
The dialogue is all used to explain things that are happening to the audience. It works pretty naturally for the parts before the fire crystal scene, explaining they recently moved and their general situation. The strangest part is Jake's replies to Robert, but Robert's making it awkward by being a blatant bully anyway. It seems like Jake's seen or been through something like this before to reply like he did.
Most of the grammar mistakes I could find are in and after the fire crystal scene. Improving that would help with clarity.
Once we get to the mystic stuff, the dialogue serves to explain what is going on, and does that well enough, however, the flow seems somewhat unnatural to me. Pilot feels like an alien trying to explain a magic system he knows very well to someone who never knew about it caring more about the details than a believable explanation. Even stranger are Jake's responses to everything with the mystic stuff that only make sense for one familiar with the tropes. He's either got instincts built in for this stuff or he's seen a lot of anime/manga/sentai...
There will probably be a reason why Pilot didn't take any initiative to 'arrest' the mastermind lady or something like that since they had time to talk to her later and Jake had his monster.
Favorite Part:
Tina's responses to Jake's receiving of power. This is closer to what I'd ask. I'd think the dude was a conman with flashy lights/tech at first.
12/21/2022 c3 4decode9
Huh. Amy having Light...that is unusual, but welcoming honestly as it fits her just as good as Wind did before. So we actually know about some of the others now. Good to know where they are, and are aware of the other Radiants. The battles were great and loved the reintroduction of the three as radiants.
4decode9Huh. Amy having Light...that is unusual, but welcoming honestly as it fits her just as good as Wind did before. So we actually know about some of the others now. Good to know where they are, and are aware of the other Radiants. The battles were great and loved the reintroduction of the three as radiants.
12/10/2022 c2 decode9
Well that was pretty good filler, and nice way to introduce Ryu. He is just as quirky as ever, and the extra characters were pretty cool.
Well that was pretty good filler, and nice way to introduce Ryu. He is just as quirky as ever, and the extra characters were pretty cool.