for Ugly2/13 c1 
70atalantea
Okay, I mean this in the best way, but this poem does feel grimy and ugly. You are able to make the reader feel like the persona - who somehow loathes themselves for their need for the poem's subject. Normally, there is romance in wanting to entwine, but in your piece, you manage to make it sound like a crime (I didn't mean for that to rhyme - hey again!).
I don't know if you meant to repeat the 3rd and 4th stanza but they are almost identical. I reread "I will always love you, but never love you again," several times. I needed time to understand it. It's similar to an idea I keep meaning to write. "I won't need a second chance." Another way to say I will never stop loving you. But once again, it's not romantic but desperation. Very interesting!
In the end there is that very human need for reciprocation. And wouldn't we all want to also have someone as desperate for us as we are for them? Great emotions! Keep writing!
70atalanteaOkay, I mean this in the best way, but this poem does feel grimy and ugly. You are able to make the reader feel like the persona - who somehow loathes themselves for their need for the poem's subject. Normally, there is romance in wanting to entwine, but in your piece, you manage to make it sound like a crime (I didn't mean for that to rhyme - hey again!).
I don't know if you meant to repeat the 3rd and 4th stanza but they are almost identical. I reread "I will always love you, but never love you again," several times. I needed time to understand it. It's similar to an idea I keep meaning to write. "I won't need a second chance." Another way to say I will never stop loving you. But once again, it's not romantic but desperation. Very interesting!
In the end there is that very human need for reciprocation. And wouldn't we all want to also have someone as desperate for us as we are for them? Great emotions! Keep writing!