for Strange Bed Sheets2/13 c1 
70atalantea
My favorite line was "Mutiny of your affections". That was gorgeous! Chef's kiss! I wish I thought of it.
The story was heartbreaking. The degeneration of devotion. You explain it so well - and vividly with your metaphors. You brought many themes into the piece, time, cosmos, landscape, science - perhaps because you wanted to make sure it's all encompassing? But one thing did stand out - which is the mix of anger, resentment and desperation written out so well.
I love the ending of course. It's just the right amount of painful, tying in the title. Furthering the idea that you really can be lonely with someone. Good work!
70atalanteaMy favorite line was "Mutiny of your affections". That was gorgeous! Chef's kiss! I wish I thought of it.
The story was heartbreaking. The degeneration of devotion. You explain it so well - and vividly with your metaphors. You brought many themes into the piece, time, cosmos, landscape, science - perhaps because you wanted to make sure it's all encompassing? But one thing did stand out - which is the mix of anger, resentment and desperation written out so well.
I love the ending of course. It's just the right amount of painful, tying in the title. Furthering the idea that you really can be lonely with someone. Good work!