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for Anna Joelyn

5/3/2005 c1 8seebirdflys
wonderfull detail
4/8/2005 c5 ladyvirgo
Very nice, I'm impressed, this is the best werewolf fiction I've read. Keep up the good work, please update soon.
2/15/2004 c5 pastlemouth
I like this story. I love the idea of a blind werewolf. Creepy. I love it!
9/15/2002 c3 2Radioactive Dragon
interesting. try keeping the tenses the same (past or present)
7/22/2001 c1 Bowen
I think I've seen you write for this Character before. If I'm not mistaken, weren't those two paragraphs the first thing you ever wrote for her. I remember you telling me something like they were written before you really had a Character idea. Anyways, I really like how you've had Anna grow (and to people reading this review, I've seen more than she has up here) since you started her, and I still think she should get together with Noah. (I know, you have to get talking with Dan since Noah's his Character... get to it girl!)

Anyways, Squirrel there seems right about the tense shifts, but then you sometimes have a problem with that (Remember those english Essays, and historical present tense? think like that I guess). Maybe you should do a disclaimer or something since you do have weird passages of time and you change from first person to third person narration. Up to you, but it's just a suggestion.

And to Squirrel: One itty bitty question: How do you know what rings true to her character? It's -her- character, someone she created, not someone she took from a band or book or show and wrote into her own story. Cut her some slack and just try and have a good read.
7/12/2001 c1 Secret Squirrel
This has a strange viewpoint for narration and changes tense from present to past at least once per paragraph. It has some decent action in it, but sometimes it has strange and uncomplementary imagery and concepts. In one paragraph the heroine's experience is described as a "baptism of blood," and she is also banging the head of a wolf against a rock. I think the imagery and tone should either stay complex or stay simple, but not bounce back and forth. It gives the impression of someone sophisticated and knowledgeable beating up a bunch of wolves. I don't think this "batman" type viewpoint rings true with your character.

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