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for The Cry of the elves

9/16/2006 c1 8Marie Northcott
A little under-developed. From the crash of humanity and elvish society to one unnamed boy's relationship with these elves in a quick frame of time. I think a little more description about the elves is necessary. A sentence or two about them and their beauty, maybe. For now, when someone is reading this all they have to put a picture of elves in their mind is what they've heard about elves portrayed by other storyrtellers. Remedy this and smooth out some of the bumpy spots where a little more description is necessary and this will be a really great, mystical piece.
12/9/2003 c1 Brid Micheal
um... interesting. you need to bring a poin into the story though because there doesn't seem to be one. *sigh* good beginning though
10/24/2003 c1 4wordtooler
this was good but it sounded more like you were planning the story than writing it. if you elaborated it more it would be much better. this was a great idea! keep writing!
6/4/2003 c1 58Lucy Dowell
hmm...well i like it. It is a diff. look at things but it is good.Great work

Lucy D.
12/4/2001 c1 2JARZ
...hmmm...I like it, very deep if you think about it...:)
9/25/2001 c1 traeumenHerz
Oh yes, dreaded Sulkies...Oh, how they torture with sulkiness...*can't contain the sarcastic laughter anymore* Sorry, but Sulkies is just really funny, it's not you. But, last I knew, I thought they were called Selkies, or something...I think this is a nice legend-type story, but were you planning on elaborating on it more? It sounds like you're going to continue the story...I advise, and that means you don't have to listen to me, to work on your prose. For, for all that this sounds like a neat story, you stumble along a bit in it. For instance, and I don't mean that it's bad, but 'Long ago, in a forgotten time, humans populated the earth.' makes us sound like we're dead and gone. Take heart, and write on! You should have seen some of MY writing...Ick ick, it was.

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