for Echoes5/16/2003 c1 
17La Solange
I would agree with one of the reviewers below (Bunny-Rabbit, I think?)- it makes more sense to have the last verse in order of the verses before it. *ack, bad at explaining..*
1st stanza: echo
2nd stanza: hunger
3rd stanza: cry
5th stanza: cry-hunger-echo
It should be echo-hunger-cry, and then it'd make perfect sense.
Anyway, beautiful! Keep writing! ^_^
~C
17La SolangeI would agree with one of the reviewers below (Bunny-Rabbit, I think?)- it makes more sense to have the last verse in order of the verses before it. *ack, bad at explaining..*
1st stanza: echo
2nd stanza: hunger
3rd stanza: cry
5th stanza: cry-hunger-echo
It should be echo-hunger-cry, and then it'd make perfect sense.
Anyway, beautiful! Keep writing! ^_^
~C
12/30/2002 c1 57Glacial Phoenix Mystiara
strikingly beautiful, and strangely true.
this poem was lovely. keep writing!
57Glacial Phoenix Mystiarastrikingly beautiful, and strangely true.
this poem was lovely. keep writing!
3/9/2002 c1 0o0
You have TALENT! Major talent!
You have TALENT! Major talent!
2/7/2002 c1 Sheylan
Why is it that our best stems from the wee hours of the morning.
'Tis very beautiful.
Why is it that our best stems from the wee hours of the morning.
'Tis very beautiful.
9/29/2001 c1 Bunny-Rabbit
First off, Mary sent it to me, and I think it's so cool when you wake up with inspiration in your head. Anywayz, very beautifully written! I really didn't like the reversed order of the ideas, tho. I know the echo had to be last to give it the punch you wanted, but you could change the order of the 1st 3 stanzas to fit the last stanza (so it'd be "Have you ever heard a cry...Do you ever feel the hunger...Have you ever heard an echo...). Hmm, so basically, the last stanza is advice for the questions you ask? Or the core of the ideas? You know, my interpretation of your title, Echoes, is that it represents that the echo, cry, & hunger ~echoes~ the being of the person. I love the description! The "yearns for human campionship," the "vast, comsuming need," the "to mute its pain song," the "If yes you...tell you this" (just cos the flow of it is different from what you normally would say). And of course, you could've gone forever & ever with the ideas, but it's cool that you narrowed it down to just 4; or that you didn't feel that it needed more than 4, you kept it the way it was. The gist of it is so simple..so thoughtful..so beautifully written. :o)
First off, Mary sent it to me, and I think it's so cool when you wake up with inspiration in your head. Anywayz, very beautifully written! I really didn't like the reversed order of the ideas, tho. I know the echo had to be last to give it the punch you wanted, but you could change the order of the 1st 3 stanzas to fit the last stanza (so it'd be "Have you ever heard a cry...Do you ever feel the hunger...Have you ever heard an echo...). Hmm, so basically, the last stanza is advice for the questions you ask? Or the core of the ideas? You know, my interpretation of your title, Echoes, is that it represents that the echo, cry, & hunger ~echoes~ the being of the person. I love the description! The "yearns for human campionship," the "vast, comsuming need," the "to mute its pain song," the "If yes you...tell you this" (just cos the flow of it is different from what you normally would say). And of course, you could've gone forever & ever with the ideas, but it's cool that you narrowed it down to just 4; or that you didn't feel that it needed more than 4, you kept it the way it was. The gist of it is so simple..so thoughtful..so beautifully written. :o)
9/29/2001 c1 butterfly
I have echoes all the tiie it seems, but yet i stil can't figure them out. thanks for your character of poetry. It was a good poem, keep it at a going!
I have echoes all the tiie it seems, but yet i stil can't figure them out. thanks for your character of poetry. It was a good poem, keep it at a going!