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for The Phantom

9/24/2006 c1 19phantom-jedi
Good job of capturing the emotions at the end. Does he exist? or was it only a dream?The only line I have issue with is "He is faceless, I do not care." Its choppy and the only line containing two separate thoughts.

4/25/2002 c1 3RubyMoon1
~Wow! That is SO good! Maybe you should write a story based off this...ne?~
11/1/2001 c1 Merlock101
Oh, it's so sad, but so heartfelt. I love it and I feel the same way. I've been loved by a dream many times.
10/9/2001 c1 Bouzi Neo
that was how i feel sometimes, if you want to, can you read Sick Cycle Downfall? I wrote it under a different name.
10/9/2001 c1 69Lowell Boston

Bravo. I really like your metaphors for time and love. Jasmine,I apologize for my review of your poem - Season. For some reason I thought Season was your screen name and not the name of the poem. Okay, I would examine some of your word breaks. Your first line is made less powerful because it ends with the word 'of'. Perhaps you could combined your first few lines - I sit in the boughs of the conifer tree/ The stars, they do, shine down on me. - again, only as a suggestion. The first line of a poem should strike like thunder - it should resonate with the reader and compel them to read on. Again, this is really a magnificent piece. Great work.

10/9/2001 c1 13Lani
Nice rhyming.. I liked it.. Sorta reminds of the book I'm reading, even though it probably has nothing to do with it..

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