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for The Percival Hormone

12/13/2001 c2 aletheaKatherine Parker
I'm reviewing in response to your request on ffnreviewers list. I thought this was good and an original idea-very different. I'm not sure which ending I prefer. In the second it seems unnecessary violence-would Stanley really get away with it? Perhaps the first is more likely, but it does tie up too neatly...

Althought this was a good idea, perhaps it would be better in a longer format-it was a bit rushed and perhaps more information on Lennon's work, Stanley's background and character developmaent would be a good idea. You needed to expand their characters if we were to be really interested in them, but as this fic was fairly short it didn't detract too much from the storyline. The story was simple, but this wasn't a downside and helped to keep you on track.

There you have my review. Many pearls of wisdom, don't you think. It sounded to me like I criticised a lot, but I hope you don't take offense.
12/11/2001 c2 2just breathe
ok, so i did read the second ending, more death, but still good. a little short and seemingly a little incomplete, but interesting, keeps you guessing. but unless there was a part 2 for the alternate ending, then id prefer the first one. either way it could be an awesome prologue to a longer story. good job.
12/11/2001 c1 just breathe
wow, you write like a screenwriter, this is good stuff. at first i was a little worried about the pig woohoo but it was pretty good. sorry i don't have the time to read the alternate ending, but other than that, its very easy to picture what your write. i read it cuz i want someone to read some of my stuff, im pretty sure i have an original, and if not, read a poem or something ;) by the way, very good idea, very 'Frankenstein'-ish

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