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for Undone

11/23/2004 c1 21Bloodlilly
The last two stanzas are very powerful. Nice verbs, nothing ordinary or overused.
1/13/2004 c1 9imxnotxyourxstar
Amazing poem, really expressive and I can totally identify with it. I especially loved the last two stanzas. Keep up the great work.
8/27/2002 c1 13Dr. Tamwe
an eloquent statement about human experience that so many people try to deny, this poem points out that a person can keep pain at bay for so long and still have to deal with it while no one even knows. I appreciate your style of writing; please keep it up.
5/26/2002 c1 57bib
It's like a nightmare only awake?
2/1/2002 c1 layne
You completely and very accurately explained the effects of night. I've experienced it 'oh too many times'. And it definitely did not 'lack' anything.
1/13/2002 c1 18xox Sanura
Brilliant as usual! Ack! Have to go to sleep, Great poems!

Rina-san ~
1/10/2002 c1 1Elij
Well crafted free verse with incredible, dark imagery! Excellent! You also brought back a couple of painful memories of my teen years.
12/12/2001 c1 2quackingduk
very good. it has swift turns in emotion that give a personal touch as well as a unique pattern.
11/24/2001 c1 8Raonaid Luckwell
Honestly I see nothing wrong with this poem. You're right, at night we are ourselves wallowing in our pity, thoughts and feelings.. while during the day we play a part, painting a mask so people would not know we are crying. Yes many of my nights are like that..
11/12/2001 c1 Aphrodite322
Lacking? I somehow doubt that! It's everything that I've ever felt in the depth of the night. I love the line "Tendrils of memories permeate the void." That is so powerful!
11/8/2001 c1 Iustitia
I go through this alot at night. You nailed everything right down to building a wall around yourself.
11/8/2001 c1 tigris
i can't really think of quite something it's lacking, i think this is a cool poem. i can sympathize to a degree. keep it up. :)

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