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1/13/2003 c1 IndyAntilles
Hmm. The science is sorely lacking here. An Ice Age would never occur so quickly, nor would it be over so soon. Ice Ages occur over thousands of years; within the five year time period of the story the weather probably wouldn't change noticeably.

Why would NASA have to make a deal with the government? NASA IS part of the government! If the government wanted a shuttle, they'd get a shuttle; they wouldn't have to wheel and deal with NASA bureaucrats.

I don't think it would be so easy for the astronauts to say goodbye to their families. Most certainly some would decide not to go, or make the decision extremely difficult on them. Yet there is no emotional appeal whatsoever.

How could the Discovery carry "most everybody else from the government"? The remaining three shuttles could only hold 171 people. Congress alone houses 535 representatives and senators! And, if the world were truly coming to an end, I doubt the American people would just say "oh, let's just save our politicians." Rather, they'd probably kill just about anyone that suggested they should be the ones to go. What's the point of government officials if there's no country left to govern?

The last paragraph: "The world has started to rebuild. The people get along now and if one thing has come out of it. I would say that it is world peace. It takes a global disaster to bring us together. If that is what it takes that’s bad." The last sentence is particularly unappealing for the final thought in a story. Yes, if global destruction is necessary for world peace that IS bad, but try and say it with some more finality than that of an elementary school student.

With some heavy rewriting, some actual dialogue, and a greater time period, this COULD work. It doesn't in it's current form.

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