for salvation6/15/2004 c1 
442CeruleanHeart
I loved the alliterations in the second and third lines. The vivid description of the savior allowed me to venture through my imagination as to what they looked like. This poem kept me curious until the end. I also love the word "alabaster." For some reason, no other word would seem to fit in that line. But in the same line, you say "more black." It sounds just fine as is, but "blacker" might make the phrase flow better. This is an awesomely mysterious poem!
442CeruleanHeartI loved the alliterations in the second and third lines. The vivid description of the savior allowed me to venture through my imagination as to what they looked like. This poem kept me curious until the end. I also love the word "alabaster." For some reason, no other word would seem to fit in that line. But in the same line, you say "more black." It sounds just fine as is, but "blacker" might make the phrase flow better. This is an awesomely mysterious poem!
2/10/2004 c1 ophelia88
Sry if i'm bothering you. plz read my story.
-ophelia88
Sry if i'm bothering you. plz read my story.
-ophelia88