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for Angels of the Night - Prologue

9/3/2004 c1 23Queen Maab
I get nothing from this.
It actually bored me
I would suggest instead of doing this really wimpy description add some power into it eg.
A dark shadow sat on top of the church spire looking down on the antlike humans below.
"Pathetic Mortals," He sneered in contempt. The shadows name was Ninja and he was a Dark Angel. Angel of the the Night. Not a vampire or demon as commonly thought but much more powerful and much more dangerous...
YOu catch my drift. By doing this you can capture the audience get them involved in the story.
Good Concept though
Queen Maab

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