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6/27/2003 c24 J. R. Earlbecke
The ending was cute, but...but... HIKARI! NO! I wanted to see her get together with Tetra's sister... *glare* But, uh, this works, too.
6/27/2003 c18 J. R. Earlbecke
AGH! So cute and perfect and then... *sigh* Stupid Asaire and his getting hurt.
6/27/2003 c17 J. R. Earlbecke
You write awesome action scenes. Action scenes are so hard to write. I want to steal your ability to write them. =_=

Also. Not to complain, but life isn't really like an RPG. Purely a matter of whether you want your story to sound like an RPG or not, but... that might confuse readers who aren't into them. That's all.
6/27/2003 c16 J. R. Earlbecke
His brother is gay, too? The unlikelyhood of that can be ignored only by the fact that gay boys are...well... any yaoi fan can sympathize with the urge to make as many characters in a story gay as possible. It's so sad that the gay boys I know in real life aren't as cute as fictional ones. -_-;
6/27/2003 c8 J. R. Earlbecke
Jacuzzi? Bubble bath? :)

Don't think I'm trying to be mean by point all these things out; I'm really enjoying the story. Obviously. If I didn't like it a lot, I wouldn't keep reading, would I?
6/27/2003 c4 J. R. Earlbecke
Not to be redundant again, but "shaped like a massive birthday cake?" ^_^; And then there's all the slang... It would be okay for a little slang from Virgo, since he's not royalty, but I have the feeling that Tetra wouldn't use the word "cool." You did have him acting quite formal before, however, with the whole "Royal We" thing, so I can see that you thought about how to make a Prince talk.

It's really good that your characters don't all use the same kind of language or vocabulary. So many people (me included) have trouble with making their characters sound distinctly different!
6/27/2003 c3 J. R. Earlbecke
Not to be redundant, but I'm fairly certain that no one knew about supernovas and black holes in medieval europe. ;)
6/27/2003 c1 J. R. Earlbecke
OVERBOARD on the description? Are you crazy? No description is boring, and this was wonderfully written! I was riveted. I could see it all happening. That's a good thing. ;)

Oh, and one note: you might not want to mention things like eyeliner and mascara, because, well, it's a fantasy story. They may have makeup, but certainly not the same kind we do. The hard thing about fantasy is remembering not to use objects from your time period and location. (Or, to put it another way, forgetting that they exist for the duration of the story.)

Either way, this is off to a great start and I'm hooked.
6/16/2003 c24 2Peace Angel and Dark Angel
PA: THAT WAS SO COOL!

DA: Yeah. It was.

PA: Virgo was totally cool!

DA: Caught us on the first chapter!

PA: I DEMAND A SEQUEL!

DA: Yes she does. *sigh*

-PA & DA
6/13/2003 c24 12Alana Hikari-chan
YATTA! ^^ YES! HOORAH! *Glomps ya* YA FINISHED IT RIGHT!

It's strange, the soundtrack I'm listening to fit PERFECTLY with what was happening... Painful Memories while Asaire was sick, Hikari and Always On My Mind for the last two chapters, asorted sad/depressing songs from Rurouni Kenshin while bad things happened... And it added to the wonderfulness of this. ^^ *nods vigrously*

~ Alana who actually logged in and is off to read more of your stuff
6/13/2003 c19 Alana
Jo: *Dreamy-eyed*

ABOUT BLOODY TIME! Do you know how close I was to guting you like a fish then cooking you and feeding you to Munchkin?

Munch: *Looks at me, then you* Er... Right... *Edges away*

*Glomps ya* well, thankee for doin' that! ^^

~ Alana
6/12/2003 c5 Alana Hikari-chan
I still likes its lots! ^^ *Grabs the P.star* ooh, luvly gem-thing... Yami-kun, why can't YOU have a neat thing like that?

YamiAlana: 'Cause you stuck me in a silly cat's head. .

eheh... ^^;;

More soon,

~ Alana
6/12/2003 c1 Alana Hikari-chan
First chapter, good, hooks me in, but you could've used more "Virgo" and less "the jester." Also, you mentioned how slim he is multipul times, and that wasn't really nessicary. Otherwise, a glourious mental vision- I can SEE Virgo danceing with the flameing baton, and that sort of detail's hard to do.

soon more,

~ Alana
5/30/2003 c24 Luna Llena
I just finish reading the story and i have to tell you that i'm a sucker for happy endings too . I LOVE the story !

keep it up.

Lune LLena.
5/22/2003 c24 newtypeshadow
i'm only gonna get 3 hours of sleep tonight cos of reading this story, but it was worth it. ^_^ i loved every minute of it!

...except when i thought tetra and hikari were gonna get married...and when the venus crystal shattered right after asaire's confession...and at the very end of the final finale act 2...

but other than those three periods (at which time my foot was tapping like mad to rid my body of access anxiety), i was blissed out. tetra's cool, asaire's wicked funny and i love him to death, and all in all you made me smile and completely unconscious of the late hour and the homework i haven't done (::insert reality crashing into me like a ton of bricks::). i love the descriptions of things - i could see the performances and costumes and clothing and gardens (^_^) and everything in my head. it was lovely that you didn't gloss over those things. i also love that letter writing was at the center of their relationship, and they were friends first (*snigger* well, something like that), and then realized over the 2 years of writing that they were in love. it was sweet.

or maybe the idea of communicating and courting through letters has always made me fuzzy inside.

whatever.

i love this story.
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