for Lady in Waiting2/1/2010 c25 Mayghan
I just finished reading through your story in one sitting. I definitely enjoyed it.
I enjoyed the detail you put into the religion and the way of life. The detail in the coming of age and the dances was described very well.
Even though it was tough to read, I think the rape really gave the story some depth. Unfortunately it happens in real life, and with the way you portrayed that character... it really fit with his personality that he would commit such an atrocious act. And the fact that Elfia couldn't let Juniper touch her was very accurate of how a victim would act, very believable, well done.
I also liked the different spin that you put on adultery. You didn't condemn it, but you didn't glorify it either. Choosing that road was definitely rocky for the characters and filled with grief, but with moments of great joy. Many people think adultery is just about lust, they forget that sometimes its for love.
The only negative I would say was the long paragraphs, it made reading difficult at times, trying to find my place on the screen.
I definitely think you should consider a sequel. I would love to read about a story focusing on Silvia and her life growing up and coming of age. I know several years have passed since you finished this story, but I have to at least mention my desire for a sequel!
I also think you should consider sending it to some publishers, I think this book could really have a chance... maybe even a series if it does well? Good luck!
I just finished reading through your story in one sitting. I definitely enjoyed it.
I enjoyed the detail you put into the religion and the way of life. The detail in the coming of age and the dances was described very well.
Even though it was tough to read, I think the rape really gave the story some depth. Unfortunately it happens in real life, and with the way you portrayed that character... it really fit with his personality that he would commit such an atrocious act. And the fact that Elfia couldn't let Juniper touch her was very accurate of how a victim would act, very believable, well done.
I also liked the different spin that you put on adultery. You didn't condemn it, but you didn't glorify it either. Choosing that road was definitely rocky for the characters and filled with grief, but with moments of great joy. Many people think adultery is just about lust, they forget that sometimes its for love.
The only negative I would say was the long paragraphs, it made reading difficult at times, trying to find my place on the screen.
I definitely think you should consider a sequel. I would love to read about a story focusing on Silvia and her life growing up and coming of age. I know several years have passed since you finished this story, but I have to at least mention my desire for a sequel!
I also think you should consider sending it to some publishers, I think this book could really have a chance... maybe even a series if it does well? Good luck!
1/21/2010 c25 
1KarmaC
I really enjoyed reading this story. You really made me feel invested in the characters. The religion aspect to the story also made it different than other what I call "court corruption" fantasies. Good job!
1KarmaCI really enjoyed reading this story. You really made me feel invested in the characters. The religion aspect to the story also made it different than other what I call "court corruption" fantasies. Good job!
1/21/2010 c25 Last Wish
Bittersweet ending. Loved it, but I often question if it was necessary for Trent to rape her...He could have beaten her. It's just sad to see her as a rape victim, but at least Juniper accepts her again.
Bittersweet ending. Loved it, but I often question if it was necessary for Trent to rape her...He could have beaten her. It's just sad to see her as a rape victim, but at least Juniper accepts her again.
7/14/2009 c24 xiomara209
loved the story..first all i feel really bad saying this but the whole time i read the story i kept wishing rose would die and then juniper could marry elifia...loved the story..juniper and elfia finally got there happy ever after..but now what about silvia and her half brother what will happen when she gets older?
loved the story..first all i feel really bad saying this but the whole time i read the story i kept wishing rose would die and then juniper could marry elifia...loved the story..juniper and elfia finally got there happy ever after..but now what about silvia and her half brother what will happen when she gets older?
4/18/2009 c1 2Nurse. Wanna-B
I love the story, I really do, but I hate the name Borfa, it sounds like barf, its distracting.
2Nurse. Wanna-BI love the story, I really do, but I hate the name Borfa, it sounds like barf, its distracting.
1/17/2009 c24 1Arya elf kin
Beautiful story! Loved the ending, no matter what difficulties u face, there will always be another sunrise.
1Arya elf kinBeautiful story! Loved the ending, no matter what difficulties u face, there will always be another sunrise.
1/20/2008 c24 prettiySMILE
What did you like about the story?
The story was a very romantic story. I liked how the story sort of twist and turned.
What didn’t you like?
The fact that Juniper committed adultery and it seemed like it wasn't such a bad thing. Honestly, what is this story trying to say? Romance wins over morality? To make it worse, Elfia slept with all three princes. I was like, oh my goodness. How can she honestly live with herself? And last of all, it needed more .. emotions? If, that it, you know what I mean.
Which characters did you like?
The best? I liked all characters and yet...I don't like them. Think of it as undecided - each had its pros and cons. But I like Rose the best, =D.
Which characters didn’t you like/ felt weren’t developed enough?
There were so many characters. I think Amelia needed some development in character - she was a very `loose` character, I suppose, and the minor characters - like Izzi, for example.
Are there any loose ends that you didn’t feel were tied up/ unresolved questions?
No, not really. Perhaps added an epilogue? Of when Silivia is grown older?
Do you think Elfia is a sympathetic enough heroine?
No. To be honest. Not at the end of the story anyway, she was a BIT sympathetic in the beginning but my opinion on her had changed.
Note:
Overall, it was an okay written story - could use a bit of Spell Check but yes, it is alright.
What did you like about the story?
The story was a very romantic story. I liked how the story sort of twist and turned.
What didn’t you like?
The fact that Juniper committed adultery and it seemed like it wasn't such a bad thing. Honestly, what is this story trying to say? Romance wins over morality? To make it worse, Elfia slept with all three princes. I was like, oh my goodness. How can she honestly live with herself? And last of all, it needed more .. emotions? If, that it, you know what I mean.
Which characters did you like?
The best? I liked all characters and yet...I don't like them. Think of it as undecided - each had its pros and cons. But I like Rose the best, =D.
Which characters didn’t you like/ felt weren’t developed enough?
There were so many characters. I think Amelia needed some development in character - she was a very `loose` character, I suppose, and the minor characters - like Izzi, for example.
Are there any loose ends that you didn’t feel were tied up/ unresolved questions?
No, not really. Perhaps added an epilogue? Of when Silivia is grown older?
Do you think Elfia is a sympathetic enough heroine?
No. To be honest. Not at the end of the story anyway, she was a BIT sympathetic in the beginning but my opinion on her had changed.
Note:
Overall, it was an okay written story - could use a bit of Spell Check but yes, it is alright.
10/9/2006 c24 All About the Good Stuff
OH MY GOD! This story was one of the best I've read. A little long winded at times, perhaps, but up there with my favourites. Thanks so much for sharing it. Congrats on over 250 reviews. Might I suggest a sequal? :DThanks again,~Britt
OH MY GOD! This story was one of the best I've read. A little long winded at times, perhaps, but up there with my favourites. Thanks so much for sharing it. Congrats on over 250 reviews. Might I suggest a sequal? :DThanks again,~Britt
3/4/2006 c24 Madame MEB
Ahh. This was a good story! I know this is the year 2006 and you wrote your last chapter in 2005. I think you should have a sequel. One about Silvia when she grows to be a teenager and wanting to see the land where she was born. Or something like that. I think it would be great. Keep up the good work in writing!
Ahh. This was a good story! I know this is the year 2006 and you wrote your last chapter in 2005. I think you should have a sequel. One about Silvia when she grows to be a teenager and wanting to see the land where she was born. Or something like that. I think it would be great. Keep up the good work in writing!
12/20/2005 c24 letylyf
Ooh..sososo good! I loved it. I have no constructive criticism - except that most of the earlier chapters could use a good re-reading for typos - because I thought all your characters were well-written and the action was gripping and the setting inspired. It was a really beautiful story, you should be very proud!
Ooh..sososo good! I loved it. I have no constructive criticism - except that most of the earlier chapters could use a good re-reading for typos - because I thought all your characters were well-written and the action was gripping and the setting inspired. It was a really beautiful story, you should be very proud!
12/11/2005 c1 Poof
Good idea, but not-so-well written. It just didn't flow for me I'm afraid, I could barely go a few sentences before I had to pause and go 'whaa?'
Good idea, but not-so-well written. It just didn't flow for me I'm afraid, I could barely go a few sentences before I had to pause and go 'whaa?'
10/29/2005 c1 36Jadza
WoW! I love it! I only have time to read the fist chapter but... wow... your words hit me ... that I nearly cryed. It remined me of my own childhood growning up on a boat, and my own fantisies that I shared only with the waves and the wind. You have to publish this story!
36JadzaWoW! I love it! I only have time to read the fist chapter but... wow... your words hit me ... that I nearly cryed. It remined me of my own childhood growning up on a boat, and my own fantisies that I shared only with the waves and the wind. You have to publish this story!
10/12/2005 c24 7CallMeCute
good story- i think i would have liked to see rose developed more. and trent. and borfa.
7CallMeCutegood story- i think i would have liked to see rose developed more. and trent. and borfa.