Just In
for Superhero Singer

7/20/2006 c1 plok
The sequence of events was difficult to follow. You start at the point where you are singing, then midway through you rewind to where you are taking your hat off in expectation of singing, then you are introduced, and you conclude with the end of the song. The transition from the 5th to 6th paragraph is particularly confusing because it is not clear which is meant to come first, since, with the information you provided, it could go either way.

You also never make it clear what "demands" Mister Nagy is conceding to in the 4th paragraph. By saying "our" you include yourself in the picture but give no indication in the paragraph as to what demands you might be making (or the rest of the band for that matter.)
11/24/2005 c1 9Alazar-Ramir
When it comes to singing I'm crap at it so you get extra points. Nice work.
3/6/2002 c1 12All Mighty Terrestrial
It IS scary to get up and sing in front of people; I've done it. You captured the anticipation so well. But if you know what you are doing, or even if you don't, there's no point in getting nervous. That just makes it 10 times worse.
3/3/2002 c1 KG
Hee, this may have been good, but IIIIIIIII got a better grade on mine! =) I told ye what I thought of it. If it had been longer you would have gotten a better grade. It's good, though!

Desktop Mode . Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service