for Window Panes of Sugar5/25/2002 c7 Strawberry Gashes
This is just the third of your delicious fairy tale madness that I've read. Jack and Jill is without a doubt the most striking horror story I've ever read, and Little Miss Muffet was just...creepy. ARGH! I can't get to chapter 3 of Miss Muffet and it's driving me crazy! ? Why was she killed? (I loved the second chapter, however).
This is...creepy...in its own way, but I have yet to read a more twisted story than Jack and Jill.
Keep writing, Lani.
This is just the third of your delicious fairy tale madness that I've read. Jack and Jill is without a doubt the most striking horror story I've ever read, and Little Miss Muffet was just...creepy. ARGH! I can't get to chapter 3 of Miss Muffet and it's driving me crazy! ? Why was she killed? (I loved the second chapter, however).
This is...creepy...in its own way, but I have yet to read a more twisted story than Jack and Jill.
Keep writing, Lani.
5/13/2002 c12 
8jack's wasted life
this wasn't exactly your best. it started out really strong but in the end it seemed as if you lost interest. it was still good but i think it could have been better. 7/10 *_*
8jack's wasted lifethis wasn't exactly your best. it started out really strong but in the end it seemed as if you lost interest. it was still good but i think it could have been better. 7/10 *_*
5/12/2002 c12 3Tiffany Kremer
damn damn dman! It's over already? Ah well, it was great! Hehe...glad Fiona got what she deserved, and by Hansel and Gretel not less. And that was very neat how you made the witch die. I haven't read anyting or seen anything about Hansel and Gretel for a long time, but very nice.
Again, as always, wonderful dialogue and great descriptions. You did a very nice job on this. Feel bad for the father though. Fiona selling them..*shakes her head* So glad she got what she deserved.
3Tiffany Kremerdamn damn dman! It's over already? Ah well, it was great! Hehe...glad Fiona got what she deserved, and by Hansel and Gretel not less. And that was very neat how you made the witch die. I haven't read anyting or seen anything about Hansel and Gretel for a long time, but very nice.
Again, as always, wonderful dialogue and great descriptions. You did a very nice job on this. Feel bad for the father though. Fiona selling them..*shakes her head* So glad she got what she deserved.
5/11/2002 c7 this would be a sarah
I've only read Little Miss Muffet, Jack and Jill, and half of this so far. However, Jack and Jill, methinks, was a beautiful and compelling story, a wonderful twist on the rhyme. I liked it better than Muffet, however, that was a good story as well. This one is thus far neat, but I may stick with Jack and Jill as my favorite.
I like these. I used to make fun of children's stories-I have a lot saved but have only posted one since getting kicked off FFN, my Cinderella story-but these are simply magnificent.
Changing the rhymes into realities and building an entire world around simple lines. I think it's ingenius and inspiring.
I've only read Little Miss Muffet, Jack and Jill, and half of this so far. However, Jack and Jill, methinks, was a beautiful and compelling story, a wonderful twist on the rhyme. I liked it better than Muffet, however, that was a good story as well. This one is thus far neat, but I may stick with Jack and Jill as my favorite.
I like these. I used to make fun of children's stories-I have a lot saved but have only posted one since getting kicked off FFN, my Cinderella story-but these are simply magnificent.
Changing the rhymes into realities and building an entire world around simple lines. I think it's ingenius and inspiring.
5/11/2002 c13 3SailorHeavymetalPapillion
Another brilliant piece of work! I can't wait to see which fairy tale you do next! If you don't mind, I might try to do one myself!
3SailorHeavymetalPapillionAnother brilliant piece of work! I can't wait to see which fairy tale you do next! If you don't mind, I might try to do one myself!
5/10/2002 c13 Jryu
Hi!
Well, great story. But I will admit, the ending (the fate of Fiona) seems a bit weak. It just didn't seem to have an apropriate sense of irony...
...
Of course, I can't figure out what would be an apropriatly ironic ending, either, so I can't hold you at fault for that.
Well, that's another down... Does this mean you will be starting a new one soon? ^_~
Jryu
Hi!
Well, great story. But I will admit, the ending (the fate of Fiona) seems a bit weak. It just didn't seem to have an apropriate sense of irony...
...
Of course, I can't figure out what would be an apropriatly ironic ending, either, so I can't hold you at fault for that.
Well, that's another down... Does this mean you will be starting a new one soon? ^_~
Jryu
5/10/2002 c7 She Who Has Chosen to be Nameless
Jack and Jill - 8 (good writing, and I love tragedy)
Never Never Land - 10 (demonic Peter is an interesting idea)
Little Miss Muffet - 3 (I just couldn't get into it, I don't know why)
Three Blind Mice - 10 (The mystery in this is really hooking me, I'd have to say that it's my favorite so far, but I'll have to judge by the ending)
I hope you're not close-minded and can take a little constructive criticism, cause I'm going to give you a little.
You have a lot of good ideas, and I mean a lot. However, it doesn't seem that you can manage all the writing that you are planning to do. I initially got into your stuff through "Maturity" but that story seems to have just quit. You haven't given us a chapter in weeks. Same thing with "Never Never Land." Good story, when you actually add a chapter.
Now, please don't get offended by this. I'm not trying to irritate you. What I'm basically saying is, manage your time. Work on one or two stories at a time instead of twelve. I hate to say it, but I'm losing interest in your stuff because you don't have anything to add anymore.
Of course, I know that it's hard to sit down and force yourself to write out a story, but it's easier to force things out when you have more time. You could always promise to add one chapter a week to two different stories. An easy deadline, that gives you plenty of time to come up with something really good. And hey, if you get extra inspired, add another chapter or two, your fans wouldn't mind reading more of your great ideas and colorful metaphors.
As you can see, I have chosen to remain anonymous. Basically because I don't want any of your rabid fans coming after me and attacking me. Anyway, I hoped I didn't get on your nerves too much and thanks for taking the time to read this...
Jack and Jill - 8 (good writing, and I love tragedy)
Never Never Land - 10 (demonic Peter is an interesting idea)
Little Miss Muffet - 3 (I just couldn't get into it, I don't know why)
Three Blind Mice - 10 (The mystery in this is really hooking me, I'd have to say that it's my favorite so far, but I'll have to judge by the ending)
I hope you're not close-minded and can take a little constructive criticism, cause I'm going to give you a little.
You have a lot of good ideas, and I mean a lot. However, it doesn't seem that you can manage all the writing that you are planning to do. I initially got into your stuff through "Maturity" but that story seems to have just quit. You haven't given us a chapter in weeks. Same thing with "Never Never Land." Good story, when you actually add a chapter.
Now, please don't get offended by this. I'm not trying to irritate you. What I'm basically saying is, manage your time. Work on one or two stories at a time instead of twelve. I hate to say it, but I'm losing interest in your stuff because you don't have anything to add anymore.
Of course, I know that it's hard to sit down and force yourself to write out a story, but it's easier to force things out when you have more time. You could always promise to add one chapter a week to two different stories. An easy deadline, that gives you plenty of time to come up with something really good. And hey, if you get extra inspired, add another chapter or two, your fans wouldn't mind reading more of your great ideas and colorful metaphors.
As you can see, I have chosen to remain anonymous. Basically because I don't want any of your rabid fans coming after me and attacking me. Anyway, I hoped I didn't get on your nerves too much and thanks for taking the time to read this...
4/30/2002 c7 27Krys
Mmmm...very good. I'm glad you finally added more to this one. I love all of your stories...I don't really know how to rate them. My least favorite would be Never Never Land simply because I've never liked peter pan. The writing is good in the story though, but the chapters seem distant and don't quite fall together right. I liked Little Miss Muffet, but it wasn't your best. Anyways...I have no real complaints. I love all that you write...keep it up!
27KrysMmmm...very good. I'm glad you finally added more to this one. I love all of your stories...I don't really know how to rate them. My least favorite would be Never Never Land simply because I've never liked peter pan. The writing is good in the story though, but the chapters seem distant and don't quite fall together right. I liked Little Miss Muffet, but it wasn't your best. Anyways...I have no real complaints. I love all that you write...keep it up!