for Legends No Nihon4/12/2002 c3 
1Little Ucchan
Eww! Nasty!
^^;; Okay. Immaturity seeping in there for a sec. And no, i don't faint at the sight of blood. Severed limbs... maybe. But not blood. You know, my teacher told me that no matter how perfect someone's work may be, there is always room for improvement. As fast paced and somewhat hideously detailed as this chapter way, there is a possibility to make it... gruesome-er, but I don't know if you want to really do that to your readers. The chapter was enough, in my opinion. ^_^
1Little UcchanEww! Nasty!
^^;; Okay. Immaturity seeping in there for a sec. And no, i don't faint at the sight of blood. Severed limbs... maybe. But not blood. You know, my teacher told me that no matter how perfect someone's work may be, there is always room for improvement. As fast paced and somewhat hideously detailed as this chapter way, there is a possibility to make it... gruesome-er, but I don't know if you want to really do that to your readers. The chapter was enough, in my opinion. ^_^
4/12/2002 c2 Little Ucchan
^_^ The old man seems lovable. Although any teenager (impatient with the old as we all are) would be pulling at their hair dangerously hanging onto what's little left of their sanity with trying to listen and decipher what the hell he's saying! Like my grandpa when he speaks w/o his dentures. ^^;; Nice use of language. Soun's manner of speaking kinda gives him the slow, easy going kinda personality. One of those laid back country bumpkins. Although Sarah seems a bit younger than she really is. The oldest i'd give her was middle age. Maybe because her speech, in comparison to Soun, is in contrast, making you feel that Soun's REALLY old and Sarah is a generation lower. ^^;; Man I have a lot to say. But the dialogue really struck me. Plus I'd like to offer you my thanks for your insight on a couple of my works.
^_^ The old man seems lovable. Although any teenager (impatient with the old as we all are) would be pulling at their hair dangerously hanging onto what's little left of their sanity with trying to listen and decipher what the hell he's saying! Like my grandpa when he speaks w/o his dentures. ^^;; Nice use of language. Soun's manner of speaking kinda gives him the slow, easy going kinda personality. One of those laid back country bumpkins. Although Sarah seems a bit younger than she really is. The oldest i'd give her was middle age. Maybe because her speech, in comparison to Soun, is in contrast, making you feel that Soun's REALLY old and Sarah is a generation lower. ^^;; Man I have a lot to say. But the dialogue really struck me. Plus I'd like to offer you my thanks for your insight on a couple of my works.
4/12/2002 c1 Little Ucchan
Bonjour, mon amie! (French... bleck! -_-)
NEwayz, I had just begun reading this story. I'm sure to finish tonight, but first a comment or so, b/c that's what we authors like to hear! ^_^ The tone of the first half of the prologue was pulled off rather well. Gives the storytelling feel, like you're reading it out of some molding 1000 year old ancient book with dust and everything. Although, i'd have to agree with a couple of people that there was a bit too much info. Maybe a few transition sentences between major facts so it can move more fluently? Just a suggestion. And I can see that you've done your research on the Japanese language. Again, integrating the meaning of a couple of words into the sentence so the reader could catch a glimpse of what it means would have been nice. But I already have to applaud you for looking up those words. ^^;; I've done it before myself and it's a total pain in the @$$. Comments on the actual plot? ^_^ Have to wait till i read the next chapter or two! But so far, you're doing well. Nice choice of diction in your writing.
Bonjour, mon amie! (French... bleck! -_-)
NEwayz, I had just begun reading this story. I'm sure to finish tonight, but first a comment or so, b/c that's what we authors like to hear! ^_^ The tone of the first half of the prologue was pulled off rather well. Gives the storytelling feel, like you're reading it out of some molding 1000 year old ancient book with dust and everything. Although, i'd have to agree with a couple of people that there was a bit too much info. Maybe a few transition sentences between major facts so it can move more fluently? Just a suggestion. And I can see that you've done your research on the Japanese language. Again, integrating the meaning of a couple of words into the sentence so the reader could catch a glimpse of what it means would have been nice. But I already have to applaud you for looking up those words. ^^;; I've done it before myself and it's a total pain in the @$$. Comments on the actual plot? ^_^ Have to wait till i read the next chapter or two! But so far, you're doing well. Nice choice of diction in your writing.
4/11/2002 c5 Kaeru Shisho
I skipped the last review in my rush to read the next chapter/mini-story. So far each chapter is a mini story that stands alone a gem. Will you be stringing them together soon or leaving them as such, tiny tales told terribly well? I await the next installment.
I skipped the last review in my rush to read the next chapter/mini-story. So far each chapter is a mini story that stands alone a gem. Will you be stringing them together soon or leaving them as such, tiny tales told terribly well? I await the next installment.
4/11/2002 c3 Kaeru Shisho
Oh, so viciously delicious! The apple I was eating has lost its plesure, so powerful were your descriptions. I shall read on...
Oh, so viciously delicious! The apple I was eating has lost its plesure, so powerful were your descriptions. I shall read on...
4/11/2002 c2 Kaeru Shisho
Howdy! I have heard the word and read. It is good. Writing unique stories for this sight is difficult. Many of the writers/reviews are new at it and have no clear characterizations or plot concepts. I don't know how far out you've outlined your story, but it's clear that you've put plenty of thought and consideration into this fantasy world. I especially liked the visual picture you made of squawking birds in frenzed flight against the darkening sky. Powerful Margie! I shall give this story the time it deserves. By the way, you might R&R the fantasy story 'Saga of Erune' by a young friend of mine. THX
Howdy! I have heard the word and read. It is good. Writing unique stories for this sight is difficult. Many of the writers/reviews are new at it and have no clear characterizations or plot concepts. I don't know how far out you've outlined your story, but it's clear that you've put plenty of thought and consideration into this fantasy world. I especially liked the visual picture you made of squawking birds in frenzed flight against the darkening sky. Powerful Margie! I shall give this story the time it deserves. By the way, you might R&R the fantasy story 'Saga of Erune' by a young friend of mine. THX
4/10/2002 c1 gimp
i didn't get a chance to read very much but what i did was very nice. i would how ever recomend that you specifie somewhere (before the end) that you are useing an actual language base ^_^ might help with confusion and take less away from the story. well good luck and again i liked it.
i didn't get a chance to read very much but what i did was very nice. i would how ever recomend that you specifie somewhere (before the end) that you are useing an actual language base ^_^ might help with confusion and take less away from the story. well good luck and again i liked it.
4/9/2002 c2 11Takatome Ichido
-sniff sniff-
It was so good. So good. You suck. Damn it, now I'll have to kick your butt. Don't forget, I know where you live. ^.#_^.#
11Takatome Ichido-sniff sniff-
It was so good. So good. You suck. Damn it, now I'll have to kick your butt. Don't forget, I know where you live. ^.#_^.#
4/7/2002 c4 Kira Saionji
Really good story, I'll be interested to see how this Slayer ties in with the events of the Prologue. Not the type of fanfiction that I usually read but I'm enjoying it.
Really good story, I'll be interested to see how this Slayer ties in with the events of the Prologue. Not the type of fanfiction that I usually read but I'm enjoying it.
4/7/2002 c4 Glass Malibu
Psyver started reminding me of Lina, for some reason. I know she's nothing like her in any way (well, other than the fact that she slays dragons), but I couldn't help it. Oh well. I'm gonna bug you again. MORE! I WANT MORE OF IT! If you post more...I'll...uh...oh! I'll tell you some more stuff about Odasha. LoL! Ja! ^_^ Love, Peace, and Ketchup! Trigun Forever!
Psyver started reminding me of Lina, for some reason. I know she's nothing like her in any way (well, other than the fact that she slays dragons), but I couldn't help it. Oh well. I'm gonna bug you again. MORE! I WANT MORE OF IT! If you post more...I'll...uh...oh! I'll tell you some more stuff about Odasha. LoL! Ja! ^_^ Love, Peace, and Ketchup! Trigun Forever!
4/7/2002 c4 Meghanna Starsong
daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang! talk about a story! that is one heck of a legend...bloody, supernatural...with japanese background! yay! very good so far...can't wait for more!
daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang! talk about a story! that is one heck of a legend...bloody, supernatural...with japanese background! yay! very good so far...can't wait for more!
4/7/2002 c3 Glass Malibu
I do not regret choosing not to read this last night...I would've had nightmares! Creepy chapter! The way you described everything was great! Almost like something out of Stephen King! I have to cut this one short, because I have to go, but I promise to read chapter four later tonight! Ja! ^_^ Love, Peace, and Ketchup! Trigun Forever!
I do not regret choosing not to read this last night...I would've had nightmares! Creepy chapter! The way you described everything was great! Almost like something out of Stephen King! I have to cut this one short, because I have to go, but I promise to read chapter four later tonight! Ja! ^_^ Love, Peace, and Ketchup! Trigun Forever!
4/7/2002 c2 Glass Malibu
See, I told you I'd read it! This chapter was ominous...tee hee! I'd try to repay your kindness and give you some constructive criticism, but the only problem I had with it was that at some points Soun was hard to understand...but that's okay, because he was supposed to be that way! What's the deal with anime-ish (L:N isn't an anime...yet...but it's anime-ish, I suppose) girls and horn-rimmed glasses? They're pretty popular! Can't wait to read the next chapter! Ja! ^_^ Love, Peace, and Ketchup! Trigun Forever!
See, I told you I'd read it! This chapter was ominous...tee hee! I'd try to repay your kindness and give you some constructive criticism, but the only problem I had with it was that at some points Soun was hard to understand...but that's okay, because he was supposed to be that way! What's the deal with anime-ish (L:N isn't an anime...yet...but it's anime-ish, I suppose) girls and horn-rimmed glasses? They're pretty popular! Can't wait to read the next chapter! Ja! ^_^ Love, Peace, and Ketchup! Trigun Forever!