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10/22/2002 c1 neosun7
Wow! You sure do come up with a lot of good new ideas. but it could flow better. Try to introduce your characters a little more in further chapters. Can't wait to read more! :) P.S.- Thanks for reviewing my story!
9/23/2002 c1 Youngster
yeah i know i am bad at making things flow. i have been working on it for a while now. if i finish the next chapter it will probably be a lot better, but i the moment i am thinking of redoing the first chapter before i do that.there is also school so it may be awhile.
9/17/2002 c1 nik-091
Hi, thanks for your review of my story. its been updated if your interested. But, now to the real reason i'm writing this, your story. You say this is your first story? well you have really good ideas. i'm very interested as to what will happen next. you could be already aware of this, and i'm only critizing because i think it will help. your story could flow a bit more smoothly if you change some of the longer sentences into shorter ones, and take out some of the ands. Also it sometimes helps to get others to go over your work to edit it. (i do it all the time.) but keep going, i think you're doing great. It's especially good for your first story. (you should have read my first.)
4/25/2002 c1 17laziness overpowers me
hi it is me i am surpised that that no1 has posted my mistake that my couz pointed out to me

find it and i will post another chapter
4/19/2002 c1 Erica
Good job kristin. start typin up the other part real soon or tell me about it. c ya monday.
4/6/2002 c1 7Loopy Lupa
This is good. I'm liking it so far and can't wait for the next part to be up.

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