for The assassin10/8/2004 c1 Penanna
Very good, I like the rhyming scheme, however it's rather anti-climatic, I think maybe a change in language or pace in the 'story' would have helped.
Very good, I like the rhyming scheme, however it's rather anti-climatic, I think maybe a change in language or pace in the 'story' would have helped.
5/17/2003 c1 Kyalia
When poetry attacks... I know the syndrome. A good cure is asking your worst enemy to hit you over the head with a baseball bat, or adding the poem to the story. It's good, but needs a resolution.
When poetry attacks... I know the syndrome. A good cure is asking your worst enemy to hit you over the head with a baseball bat, or adding the poem to the story. It's good, but needs a resolution.
5/11/2002 c1 
17allibabab
Ooooo...freaky! An assassin! Yikes! Haha...anyway...
My favorite part was when you called the drop of sweat panic...that was cool! It was like:
A bead of panic drops down my face
And splashes onto the bed room floor
Clever! Nicely written! I like how the assassin has guilt...it makes it seem like he's only human, you know...I don't know, it kind of makes you pity him a little bit...
Anyway, I like it a lot!
17allibababOoooo...freaky! An assassin! Yikes! Haha...anyway...
My favorite part was when you called the drop of sweat panic...that was cool! It was like:
A bead of panic drops down my face
And splashes onto the bed room floor
Clever! Nicely written! I like how the assassin has guilt...it makes it seem like he's only human, you know...I don't know, it kind of makes you pity him a little bit...
Anyway, I like it a lot!
4/21/2002 c1 12grey spirit
Dark, but interesting. As you said, it was more of a story than anything else, and it got me thinking. Good work.
12grey spiritDark, but interesting. As you said, it was more of a story than anything else, and it got me thinking. Good work.