for Dead Man Walking4/30/2021 c1 ambethiiii
I am amazed with your storytelling, great job! If you allow, may I share your book to facebook in order to reach more readers? And by the way, NovelStar is currently conducting a writing competition - You have a great potential. If you wish to join, link is attached herein.
. (PC)
.top/index/index/special/id/87 (APP) you wish to join.
I am amazed with your storytelling, great job! If you allow, may I share your book to facebook in order to reach more readers? And by the way, NovelStar is currently conducting a writing competition - You have a great potential. If you wish to join, link is attached herein.
. (PC)
.top/index/index/special/id/87 (APP) you wish to join.
9/8/2006 c1 Whisperwind
I like it. Good job.
I like it. Good job.
6/20/2006 c1 
13Panchromatic
wow. that's really interesting. that ending really caught me off guard. although the chase scene that you start the is interesting and intense, i think that less explaining about how he got into the current situation and more action would make it a little easier to read. but that's your choice: i can't offer any suggestions on how else you might fit that information in.
13Panchromaticwow. that's really interesting. that ending really caught me off guard. although the chase scene that you start the is interesting and intense, i think that less explaining about how he got into the current situation and more action would make it a little easier to read. but that's your choice: i can't offer any suggestions on how else you might fit that information in.
5/23/2006 c1 1RavensHaelo
Good story.Quite well written, but pieces of the descriptions were a little off-putting... I'm sorry I can't give you any examples. Simply write more and you'll get it, I'm sure. I hope you don't take that the wrong way.Anyhow...I love supernatural westerns for some reason, and I can't find any others than yours. You wouldn't happen to know any, would you?
1RavensHaeloGood story.Quite well written, but pieces of the descriptions were a little off-putting... I'm sorry I can't give you any examples. Simply write more and you'll get it, I'm sure. I hope you don't take that the wrong way.Anyhow...I love supernatural westerns for some reason, and I can't find any others than yours. You wouldn't happen to know any, would you?
5/12/2006 c1 14glehnmarc
I don't usually read westerns, but I'm glad I read yours. It was an excellent piece. Unfortunately I read the reviews firt and something was given away. So some of the twist for me was gone.
Well done.
14glehnmarcI don't usually read westerns, but I'm glad I read yours. It was an excellent piece. Unfortunately I read the reviews firt and something was given away. So some of the twist for me was gone.
Well done.
8/3/2005 c1 11Leylique Morrow
Ohh...let the chills wear off! Exceptionally well-written, if I do say so myself. Do you know this is the only decent western piece I've seen on FictionPress? Everything else is Sally and her cowboy falling in love and going on random trail rides. But this-this is fantastic! I hope to see more of the same, or at least with the same amount of thought and talent put into it.
-Leila
11Leylique MorrowOhh...let the chills wear off! Exceptionally well-written, if I do say so myself. Do you know this is the only decent western piece I've seen on FictionPress? Everything else is Sally and her cowboy falling in love and going on random trail rides. But this-this is fantastic! I hope to see more of the same, or at least with the same amount of thought and talent put into it.
-Leila
4/25/2004 c1 3Mr. Blonde
I really enjoyed this story! It had all the element's that had me thinking it would go a certain way, and then you surprised me. Excellent work.
3Mr. BlondeI really enjoyed this story! It had all the element's that had me thinking it would go a certain way, and then you surprised me. Excellent work.
12/20/2003 c1 melissa
it was a lovely story, very nice what do you call it... suspense? yes that's it. anyway, theo was an intersting character, at times before his "conversion" he seemed two different people. i'm terrible at critiques so i won't burden you with whatever my tired brain could produce. i enjoyed your story very much and wish you all possible success in life and any future endevors. merry christmas.
it was a lovely story, very nice what do you call it... suspense? yes that's it. anyway, theo was an intersting character, at times before his "conversion" he seemed two different people. i'm terrible at critiques so i won't burden you with whatever my tired brain could produce. i enjoyed your story very much and wish you all possible success in life and any future endevors. merry christmas.
12/9/2003 c1 craig daniels
This is my first written critcism so don't take my opinion too seriously.
I was impressed with this story. It's creative and well executed. I believe you are on your way to becoming a great writer. I do, however, think the story could be improved in a few areas.
My biggest problem with the story is the length as it applies to the subject matter. I think the story should be longer. Too many details are condensed for my liking. Sometimes condensing works in short stories, sometimes it doesn't, and here it doesn't. It reads like a recapping of series of events taken place prior to this story.
The ending was great with a nice twist, but how about revealing that he is dead through imagery or action rather than saying "He woke up dead, like all the others." That line immediately gives the excellent twist of the story away!
I think this story could be great, given it is given more room to breathe.
This is my first written critcism so don't take my opinion too seriously.
I was impressed with this story. It's creative and well executed. I believe you are on your way to becoming a great writer. I do, however, think the story could be improved in a few areas.
My biggest problem with the story is the length as it applies to the subject matter. I think the story should be longer. Too many details are condensed for my liking. Sometimes condensing works in short stories, sometimes it doesn't, and here it doesn't. It reads like a recapping of series of events taken place prior to this story.
The ending was great with a nice twist, but how about revealing that he is dead through imagery or action rather than saying "He woke up dead, like all the others." That line immediately gives the excellent twist of the story away!
I think this story could be great, given it is given more room to breathe.
12/4/2003 c1 27Electra Fairford
Impressive. Beautiful rendering of the classic cowboy/desert thing, beautiful momentum that keeps going inexorably to the end. The climax scene with Harding's death is very well set up.
One thing: the bounty hunter's speech seems too human...the visual is strong but there should be a strong sense of creepiness from his speech as well...it should be more manicured, more impersonal or more seemingly run from a tape.
27Electra FairfordImpressive. Beautiful rendering of the classic cowboy/desert thing, beautiful momentum that keeps going inexorably to the end. The climax scene with Harding's death is very well set up.
One thing: the bounty hunter's speech seems too human...the visual is strong but there should be a strong sense of creepiness from his speech as well...it should be more manicured, more impersonal or more seemingly run from a tape.
10/25/2003 c1 Saiouri17
Wow. That was good. Real good. Is there anything more to say?
Wow. That was good. Real good. Is there anything more to say?
10/13/2003 c1 Dylan Wiles
This was eerie. Is it going to be a series? It should be.Some of the best stuff on this or any other thread.
My story KID is coming along too. R&R for me?
Thanx. Ill be reading the rest of your stories now.
This was eerie. Is it going to be a series? It should be.Some of the best stuff on this or any other thread.
My story KID is coming along too. R&R for me?
Thanx. Ill be reading the rest of your stories now.
9/4/2003 c1 15midnightair
This is very good. I think you could turn this into a multiple chapter story. I have read some of your other works as well and think you have a real talent. So keep up the good work.
15midnightairThis is very good. I think you could turn this into a multiple chapter story. I have read some of your other works as well and think you have a real talent. So keep up the good work.