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for The Color of Moonlight

4/11/2008 c5 7RenaWrites
KYA!*Exclamation point*

What happens next? What happened to the dragon? What's going to happen to Anle? What is this Ikaeldor's problem? Why is he killing the elves? Is Anle totally going to pwn him? Because that would be awesome!

I LOVED the description when the dragon arrived in the city. I could see it so clearly, like I was watching a movie and it looked spectacular.
4/11/2008 c4 RenaWrites
4/11/2008 c2 RenaWrites
Why are they being summoned? Who is Anle and why was he banished?




I know, I know, 'stop asking questions you know I'm not going to answer!'
4/11/2008 c1 RenaWrites
The description for the emotions of the trees is brilliant, and I actualy got an adrenaline rush when the bells rang. Excellent build of suspense and tension there.
9/19/2005 c5 KaronePrincess
I really LOVE this story. I really LOVE her character. She is very independent and brave. Gosh how I love her. She is my heroeine. I really WAINTING to know what will happen next to her! She seems really COOL and INTERESTING. Please keep POSTING MORE THIS STORY. I've been waiting for you to update this story for a very long time. The plot is really AWESOME. Excellent story! Good writing style. I really mean it! UPDATE MORE SOON!
5/28/2004 c5 mwegan
Boy, I hate to just say "This is great, write more", I know it doesn't help, but it's hard not too. If I try to get nitpicky, I can come up with a couple comments...
- 'hurtled towards...in an out-of-countrol earthward plunge' a bit of redundant description there, you could drop a couple, make it a shorter sentence to add a bit of urgency.
- watch 'only slightly' - you use it a lot (I use slightly way too much myself, seems to noncommital to what I am describing)
I must say you are a much better writer than I am, so don't take me too seriously...
4/23/2004 c1 4foolish Foxes
I would so try to get money off of this if I were you!
1/28/2004 c5 Etto
Lomiel...*sob* you can't *do* this to me! This has been the second time I've read this brilliant peice of work, all in one go, my eyes plastered to the screen, and you...just...leave me hanging! *wails*
Okay, let me get a hold of myself. You've told me before that constructive critiscm motivates you to write more, so, after throughly thinking about each paragraph, I've come up with a couple suggestions (believe me, it wasn't easy).
Your desciptions are beautifully colored and evoke lovely images, but I have noticed that you sometimes repeat a single word throughout a paragraph..."purple" for example. It isn't annoying, but if you replaced repeating words with synonyms, it would really make the description richer.
Also, when you write from Anle's point of view, perhaps you should include more sounds, because his hearing is undoubtedly (as well as his instincts and ability to sense things) what he has to rely on, having no sight. He would pick up everything, the whistle of a blade, the rustling of clothing, the sound of a hand gripping the handle of a weapon, and don't forget the sounds of leaves, streams, slight scuffings of boot against twig, and other sounds. It can be hard (I've *tried* imagining being blind, trust me), but it is really fun once you realize how many sounds there are in this world!
Okay...ike, this is getting long.
Well, I hope that helped! And I just need to say this: you are phenomenal. I can't say any more than that. ^_^
I wanna see more!
12/12/2003 c5 chelly
YAY! heya!
I've finally decided to *gasp* submit a real review! (Or die trying, at least) wow...marvel!
moving on...
You have the amazing ability to express what you want to in this amazingly beautifully flowing way that is wonderfully descriptive(a thing I have yet to achieve as I am having trouble finding words to write this little review... all the things I wanna say are in a traffic jam in my head. Bear with me here
12/6/2003 c5 23PseudoIdentity
*is momentarily speechless* You ask for constructive criticism, but I don't think I can give any. ^_^ Anyway, I love how you're doing this - you've managed to detail everything so gorgeously without getting wordy and despite the fact that we know near to nothing about any of the characters, they're very likable. Not only that but you have a wonderful ability to make things happen and yet have something bigger looming in the background that's making all of us wonder. Oh, and I also adore the dragon quite a lot . . . of course, then again I do have an obsession with dragons. *ahem *Actually, now that I think about it, I do have one question: exactly how old is Ikaeldor? You mention that at the beginning of the wars he was fifteen, and then he muses on how Ereston must have been dead by now since elves live a mere 20 years? So, does this imply that the war has been going on for at least that long? Well, moving on now, and a final note: I do hope you decide to add on the next chapter sometime soon, and if not, well, I’ll be waiting along with everyone else! ^_^
7/28/2003 c5 3Phoenix Nighthawk
Heh, i'm liking it even more as you keep adding to it. Sorry I didn't review it until now, but i've been kinda busy with getting ready for college and all.
6/21/2003 c5 Orion Alai
If you would be so kind, is it possible to word wrap this chapter? It was very hard to read because I had to keep scrolling back and forth. That's about it.

I will give you feedback for it and chapter 6 next time. ^ ^
6/21/2003 c4 Orion Alai
Oh no. Poor Shimoyo. She's going to disappear isn't she? Why are she an Anle linked like that I wonder...
6/21/2003 c3 Orion Alai
Loved the details in this chapter! Bravo! Must read the next one!
6/21/2003 c2 Orion Alai
Oh. Spoke too soon. ^ ^

Anle would be much better! I know, I'm already pairing people up. It's fun! I'm a romantic, so it's only natural I try to find it in other people's stories. It's just a thought though. Don't change your plot on my account. lol. Keep it up. I love this!
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