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for The Color of Moonlight

6/21/2003 c1 Orion Alai
You reviewed for me, just returning the favor.

THIS IS SO COOL! lol. I love this. Out of all the stories I've read so far (which I think reaches a whopping seven at the moment) this has got to be the one I love the most.

For one thing it's very easy on the eyes, paragraphs, blah blah, and not to mention you don't flaunt your vocabulary by throwing in every word you can think of. You're using your phrasing, stylistically, to convey your comfort with the language, rather than the words.

I also love the story line. One wonders *evil grin* if she'll ever meet that blond boy *hehe*.

I like to review for each chapter, I hope you don't mind. It's so that I can reflect on each one separately. Very good so far. though. Five chapters! I really must read quick.
6/11/2003 c5 36Windsong
OOh! Pretty! ...I like disjointed chapters! *cackles* And the dragon description is pretty and it's cool and although I don't understand *why* you ended the chapter like you did...hey, artistic liscence! *cackles* Anyways, keep writing so I can keep reading! -Windy-chan ^-^ v
5/29/2003 c5 sugar is your friend
YAY! Shimoyo, you updated! WHE

it's wonderful, keep writing!
5/29/2003 c5 5Dracorum
Please write more of the aeriech! T_T

I lived for them. I hope my reviews aren't boring, since well...your chapter just needs no comments.
5/19/2003 c4 4Moonstrike
I'm very happy that you're finally continuing this story. As before, your writing is incredibly... I don't know, great. Incredibly great. God, I must be tired.

Only one criticism. The ending is quite ineffective, because basically we don't know what the threat is, and why there's no ending to the need to kill. You've given us no background on Estyl and the gang nor on Anle. We have little information about why he thinks there SHOULD be an ending to the need to kill. What experiences has he had so far that make him think like that eg a hard warrior who's had enough of fighting all his life? Maybe a flashback or something would help. I also don't get a clear sense of what Estyl etc are doing following him. Is he special eg a prince or something? Once you've given the reader a sense of what they want eg to get to the border because there's something important there, then you can present an obstacle (the loud dangerous noise coming from that direction). Then you have conflict. Also, we'd get more of a sense of what Anle's about and come to like/dislike him as a character. So far I personally feel quite indifferent towards him because I don't know what his role is (apart from the fact that he's blind - excuse the geeky childishness coming through - because that's 'totally cool', lol). Basically I'm taking the long-winded route to say that you need to present Anle's problems and motivations/intentions here. Anyway, gotta go because it's quite late.

PS. Am loving the seraph. Lume is excellent. Mysterious, serious, magical. Hope he's a vital character. If not, ah well.
5/12/2003 c4 5Dracorum
You may have noticed that I've changed my name. :P

A beautiful update as always and I, too, hope that this strange phenomenon will occur more than once a year.
5/11/2003 c4 sugar is your friend
YAY! you finally updated! WHE!

keep writing Shimoyo, it's beautiful!
4/29/2003 c3 36Windsong
LoMIEL! *glares* Do you know the last time you updated this? 06-07-02! That's almost a YEAR ago! I'm SURE you're done studying for those Spanish tests by now! WORK ON THIS FIC or I'm going to go cry or something! I want to know what happens! DON'T LEAVE ME LIKE THIS! *screams* And please email me when you write the next chapter! -Windsong
4/29/2003 c2 Windsong
OOh, I like it! I like it I like it I like it I like it I like it! *runs in circles* It's pretty, and Shimoyo's really cool, and Tal's interesting, and if I don't read more I'm going to go insane - so off I go to the next chapter! *dances*

Oh, about that question you asked me: Yes, I usually write short stories. For orignal fiction, anyways. I save my good plotlines for my anime fanfiction ^^. Keep writing! -Windsong
4/22/2003 c1 12Amarys
that is really good. I like the way you described your characters, and you did very well in the flow of the story. I like your style of writing alot. probably the only critiquieng I can offer is amybe to try to vary your words a bit. in one paragraph you used the word silver four times, and if you use different words that mean the same, it helps all the more with imagery. It's really late and i have to go now, but I will be back, I like this beginning alot. While I am at it, if you do not mind reading my story? Lia
4/22/2003 c2 Scheherazade the Dreamer
And you said MY story was awesome! Man, you left me behind in the dust from the first paragraph - and that is not undue praise. I haven't quite gotten through the second chapter, but I will as soon as I have time, and I'll read the third chapter . . . and the fourth . . . and fifth . . . and you get the point. I loved the discriptions. And the plotline seems interesting so far, from what I can make of it anyway.

Thank you for your very kind review. Write more soon, please!

Oh, and I'm working on the third chapter right now. It'll be up, hopefully, within two weeks.
9/15/2002 c3 8Cinnabar Scarlett
This is really an awesome story! I love your writing style, and Shimoyo is a really cool character! The plot is excellent, in my oppinion, and I think you're a really good writer! Just ooooone thing... your 'name' in Japanese in your bio is kinda funky. I speak Japanese fluently, and BELIEVE me, that's not how you'd write that name... Hehee... that was random! ANYWAY, Keep up on your writing and e-mail me if you put up a new chapter/story, okay? ^-^ I'm really into this one... Yay! Hope to read more soon,

-Luke
9/9/2002 c3 um.wanna guess IT'S ME chelly
hi! um... you really need to write more, girly! please? do it for me? *big eyes*
6/10/2002 c3 5Dracorum
(I hope you passed the test.) I love it! continue writing!
6/8/2002 c2 Dalvanna18
I love the way your writing flows, you're really good with imagery, Please keep writing!
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