for In The Beginning7/13/2003 c1 
106cosmo-queen
Some beautiful and calming imagery you have here. I love the inspiration of sunrise and definitely agree that it is a time of awe and wonder. Keep writing :)
*cosmo-queen*
106cosmo-queenSome beautiful and calming imagery you have here. I love the inspiration of sunrise and definitely agree that it is a time of awe and wonder. Keep writing :)
*cosmo-queen*
4/26/2003 c1 1aleppine
This is a lovely piece of writing. The first line is one thought by so many people; dawn is truly a fleeting moment of incomparable peace. I like the way you've presented the moment through different eyes; the mother, the children. Great work.
1aleppineThis is a lovely piece of writing. The first line is one thought by so many people; dawn is truly a fleeting moment of incomparable peace. I like the way you've presented the moment through different eyes; the mother, the children. Great work.
3/27/2003 c1 13XxDragon Princess NikkixX
*Gapes at the screen* OMG That was absolutely beautiful. I dont think i have come across a poem that has touched me like that in quite awhile. I mean your words are so perfectly chosen. Your imagery was amazing. I could almost see it in my minds eye. And i love the end how you went, "in the beginning..." that is so...wow. You are truely a wonderful poet. Excellent job!
13XxDragon Princess NikkixX*Gapes at the screen* OMG That was absolutely beautiful. I dont think i have come across a poem that has touched me like that in quite awhile. I mean your words are so perfectly chosen. Your imagery was amazing. I could almost see it in my minds eye. And i love the end how you went, "in the beginning..." that is so...wow. You are truely a wonderful poet. Excellent job!
1/29/2003 c1 34NeoDragonZero
another wonderful poem. though i am a bit confused at the end... u seem to start the thought with:
"this one fraction of a second, this moment, when the dew highlights in silver
spider webs in the lush green sparkling grass,"
leaving us to go through the images that follow, yet u merely end it with:
"and all is fresh and new
as it was
in the beginning ..."
so if u read the thought and vocalize it in ur head u seem to... *thinks for appropriate wording*... be left thinking that the end of the line is somewhere else, and, at least for me, it seemed like u wanted to finish it, but u thought about just ending it as is.
thats about the only thing that i find wrong with this piece, and its not really all that big a deal either...
on a lighter note, i am very much enthused to say that this piece had extremely vivid imagery. the part where the mother was in awe and let go of her coffee was good, but then adding in the children stopping with their playful shennanigans topped that off. the spiders web with sparkling dew-drops was another strong visual aid, and im happy to see u using it to its full potency, altho some would say that it could have added details, but they obvioulsy dont see the beauty in such simplicity.
another nice work here, i commend u! *salutes*
Neo
34NeoDragonZeroanother wonderful poem. though i am a bit confused at the end... u seem to start the thought with:
"this one fraction of a second, this moment, when the dew highlights in silver
spider webs in the lush green sparkling grass,"
leaving us to go through the images that follow, yet u merely end it with:
"and all is fresh and new
as it was
in the beginning ..."
so if u read the thought and vocalize it in ur head u seem to... *thinks for appropriate wording*... be left thinking that the end of the line is somewhere else, and, at least for me, it seemed like u wanted to finish it, but u thought about just ending it as is.
thats about the only thing that i find wrong with this piece, and its not really all that big a deal either...
on a lighter note, i am very much enthused to say that this piece had extremely vivid imagery. the part where the mother was in awe and let go of her coffee was good, but then adding in the children stopping with their playful shennanigans topped that off. the spiders web with sparkling dew-drops was another strong visual aid, and im happy to see u using it to its full potency, altho some would say that it could have added details, but they obvioulsy dont see the beauty in such simplicity.
another nice work here, i commend u! *salutes*
Neo
1/3/2003 c1 23Immortal Muse
Me like. I love the descriptions. You can't help ta feel happy after yuo see something as beautiful as a new dawn. They're soo perdy. Anyway, keep up your good work. Bye.
23Immortal MuseMe like. I love the descriptions. You can't help ta feel happy after yuo see something as beautiful as a new dawn. They're soo perdy. Anyway, keep up your good work. Bye.
12/12/2002 c1 53absolute0
I can understand why this poem has got 30 reviews (31 including mine). You have a nice way with words and metaphors, everything just flow beautifully. Keep up. I look forward to reading more of your poems.
53absolute0I can understand why this poem has got 30 reviews (31 including mine). You have a nice way with words and metaphors, everything just flow beautifully. Keep up. I look forward to reading more of your poems.
11/19/2002 c1 64not sure yet
beautiful, the imagry is great, very nicely done, the words fit together and flow perdily (is that even a word?), great job!
64not sure yetbeautiful, the imagry is great, very nicely done, the words fit together and flow perdily (is that even a word?), great job!
11/8/2002 c1 43Carter Tachikawa
Soft, sweet, just a wonderful poem overall. Keep on writing and I look forward to anything else you put up in the future.~CT
43Carter TachikawaSoft, sweet, just a wonderful poem overall. Keep on writing and I look forward to anything else you put up in the future.~CT
10/16/2002 c1 24Lux's Confusion
awesome yet again...your poerty is so similar to mine in the way we both make the reader try to gain an imaginary by not pointing it right out to them. check it out, i think you'll like it.
24Lux's Confusionawesome yet again...your poerty is so similar to mine in the way we both make the reader try to gain an imaginary by not pointing it right out to them. check it out, i think you'll like it.