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8/16/2002 c1 11unexpected source
i like this the least of all of them, not because of the way the point was across.

its got the empress

not the theme

acht

acht
8/12/2002 c1 53Aviendha19
yes- too short, choppy, too few words. but for some reason it is affecting and effective and

i really like it! so there -_-
7/18/2002 c1 marguerite
i'm sorry. it is too dramatic.
6/6/2002 c1 34miss meaningeverythingtome
Great as usual. I especially love the 2nd stanza. It's so ironic, and not cliche at all. You kick ass. :)
5/28/2002 c1 1aceinit
Cliched? No way. This is so short, but man, it packs an emotional punch. You just inspired me to go write something really dramatic, and I've been suffering a bit of a block lately. Thank you so much for reviewing my story, otherwise I might not have stumbled across this wonderful piece of work! Keep writing!
5/12/2002 c1 22Gevo
good poem. dunno what to say.
5/10/2002 c1 4Spyre
Honestly, the short lines are used a lot, but very many of those who use it don't use it right at all. You have here, though. The last stanza/string is a thought process (the whole thing is... and also a sort of complacent/down declaration) and/or a list of things that trigger one word/idea to the next. Unique from your other work.

as ever:

s p y r e
5/8/2002 c1 75valpincon
wow...really good! I like the rawness of it...its definitely not 'cliched'! well done, and thanks :)
5/8/2002 c1 17Jade6
I like the way you layed it out and how you made the words flow... if that makes any sense... I don't think its overly cliche... it's a nice little poem and I enjoyed it! =)
5/8/2002 c1 19Raven Maxwell
Reminds me a lot of me, surprisingly. Not many things can do that. It's really good. Keep writing!
5/8/2002 c1 33HippieBaller
i like the message u give about yer self.
5/8/2002 c1 Winterlove1
Very motivating! Even though it doesn'trhyme, have rythm and all, It is still pretty expressive in a wa.! Reminds me of the rough times in life.
5/8/2002 c1 1Jukie
Interesting... It kinda points out all the hardships of life.

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