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for The Orb Trilogy Part 1

7/18/2002 c3 19phorc
I agree with your prior commentor...a prologue seems appropriate. The paragraphing kinda got screwed, but we'll just have to wait for fanfic to fix that, won't we? =) Also, I believe that not only a prologue would help, but a lead-in to this portion of the story. A snake appearing and turning into an evil sorcerer that early on in the story is...well, unusual. It's probably just my traditionalism speaking, so do what you see fit with it.

-phorc
7/17/2002 c2 trustAnti
..what happens next? ^.^;
7/16/2002 c1 6Curtis J. Perry
You have talent in the area if visualization - but the flow is sometimes

nauseus, a problem every writer has in his/her inception and incubation.

It had me very interested though. A prelude would patch things up.

And another thing - the character names and places are memorizable. Great job.

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