for The boy from the outside4/3/2004 c1 
20darksiren1
hm...its like you..copied yourself and then whenever you find something that doesnt fit or you dont like..you just shove it into him and push him away. but he's like a little shawdow that follows you around..but its so dissacioated (sp) from yourself that you dont even recognize its yourself.
i really like this poem. so im off to read more.
20darksiren1hm...its like you..copied yourself and then whenever you find something that doesnt fit or you dont like..you just shove it into him and push him away. but he's like a little shawdow that follows you around..but its so dissacioated (sp) from yourself that you dont even recognize its yourself.
i really like this poem. so im off to read more.
10/7/2002 c1 JazzPizza
I suddenly feel so depressed and lonely.
Yeah, I know kinda what you're saying about this poem. But it's not that it's not good.
Good dramatic voice going on. And I'm glad to see you know how to use your grammar to its full advantage.
Don't mind the goths reviewing the goth poems. They're just hating the world and displacing it on you. They tend to do that. If they tell you to "die die die", they really just mean they need a good therapist, a box of tissues, and a lollipop.
/now runs at light speed from any self-proclaimed goths in the area/
Honestly. Why must we live in a world of cliques? Must we always define ourselves? "Giving us a bad name", indeed. You give yourselves a bad name by allowing your identities to be defined by a single adjective.
Sorry. Don't mind my tirade. I'm just a freak, as according to society.
And damn proud of it.
I suddenly feel so depressed and lonely.
Yeah, I know kinda what you're saying about this poem. But it's not that it's not good.
Good dramatic voice going on. And I'm glad to see you know how to use your grammar to its full advantage.
Don't mind the goths reviewing the goth poems. They're just hating the world and displacing it on you. They tend to do that. If they tell you to "die die die", they really just mean they need a good therapist, a box of tissues, and a lollipop.
/now runs at light speed from any self-proclaimed goths in the area/
Honestly. Why must we live in a world of cliques? Must we always define ourselves? "Giving us a bad name", indeed. You give yourselves a bad name by allowing your identities to be defined by a single adjective.
Sorry. Don't mind my tirade. I'm just a freak, as according to society.
And damn proud of it.
8/4/2002 c1 114moonlover46
It's good, moving, and meaningful at the sametime...hard to find in some poems. Keep it up.
114moonlover46It's good, moving, and meaningful at the sametime...hard to find in some poems. Keep it up.
8/3/2002 c1 Impmon Theft Auto
nah, no more work needed. this is really good. especially the 3rd paragraph...
well done...
~CK
nah, no more work needed. this is really good. especially the 3rd paragraph...
well done...
~CK
7/26/2002 c1 34Aidlyn
Excellent! I don't think it needs any work at all! By the way, thanks for the reviews. I also love honest reviewers. I'm from Minnesota, in response to your question. I also have heard Neon Ballroom by Silverchair. Well, anyway, thanks again for the reviews! I'll have a new piece up shortly. Called 'the Murder of MSN".
34AidlynExcellent! I don't think it needs any work at all! By the way, thanks for the reviews. I also love honest reviewers. I'm from Minnesota, in response to your question. I also have heard Neon Ballroom by Silverchair. Well, anyway, thanks again for the reviews! I'll have a new piece up shortly. Called 'the Murder of MSN".
7/15/2002 c1 23Lornyl Mahtsae
Oh, that's really sad... I like the last paragraph especially.
Keep going.
LV, Lornie
23Lornyl MahtsaeOh, that's really sad... I like the last paragraph especially.
Keep going.
LV, Lornie