for The First Kiss5/16/2006 c6 Natasha5
It's completelely unrealistic. And cheesy. And you need to work on descriptions, grammar and spelling. And sentence structure in a few parts.
Apart from that, not too bad.
Natasha5.
It's completelely unrealistic. And cheesy. And you need to work on descriptions, grammar and spelling. And sentence structure in a few parts.
Apart from that, not too bad.
Natasha5.
5/16/2006 c2 Natasha5
It's too... Well, they're both the male equivalent of Mary-Sue's. And 'swapping spit' isn't exactly romantic. It's a little too rushed and not very believable.
But apart from that, it's okay so I'll read on.
Natasha5.
It's too... Well, they're both the male equivalent of Mary-Sue's. And 'swapping spit' isn't exactly romantic. It's a little too rushed and not very believable.
But apart from that, it's okay so I'll read on.
Natasha5.
4/11/2006 c6 
6Coco-love
Great story I loved it. Read my stories and review to see if there is anything that i can do to make my stories as great as yours
6Coco-loveGreat story I loved it. Read my stories and review to see if there is anything that i can do to make my stories as great as yours
1/6/2006 c6 Heamatite
its gd. qu, did it hapen 2 sum1 u know coz its really reqalistic. soz being nosy, anyways its gd! aml Fazx
its gd. qu, did it hapen 2 sum1 u know coz its really reqalistic. soz being nosy, anyways its gd! aml Fazx
10/23/2005 c6 2Naomi Schemer
Cute story, even though I found some flaws. At times, the way the characters talked seemed unnatural, especialy if they're supposed to be normal teenagers. There were a few typoes, but I only noticed one or two out of all the 6 chapters, so you did a good job. Great story, and keep writing.
2Naomi SchemerCute story, even though I found some flaws. At times, the way the characters talked seemed unnatural, especialy if they're supposed to be normal teenagers. There were a few typoes, but I only noticed one or two out of all the 6 chapters, so you did a good job. Great story, and keep writing.
10/8/2005 c6 David Halliwell
OMG...once again i was moved by ur writting, so ur doing a damn good job!
OMG...once again i was moved by ur writting, so ur doing a damn good job!
10/2/2005 c1 16vNs
Now that's so sweet! Such a good idea of making a story like this. 'L read your other stories soon for sure! ^^
-[vandrioNette]- ^o~
16vNsNow that's so sweet! Such a good idea of making a story like this. 'L read your other stories soon for sure! ^^
-[vandrioNette]- ^o~
7/6/2004 c6 139Raven-ember
OMG! That was the sweetest story I've ever read! I almost stared crying! I loved it!
139Raven-emberOMG! That was the sweetest story I've ever read! I almost stared crying! I loved it!
5/24/2003 c6 Cheyenne
This story started out nice, but I don't like the way they made a huge deal out of their relationship. Coming out to family, friends, or other individuals who you are close to may require a presentation, but doing it in front of the school turns it into something, when their point is that it ISN'T something to be made into a big deal.
This story started out nice, but I don't like the way they made a huge deal out of their relationship. Coming out to family, friends, or other individuals who you are close to may require a presentation, but doing it in front of the school turns it into something, when their point is that it ISN'T something to be made into a big deal.
4/2/2003 c6 4ElizabethKnight777
~Aww. Awesome story. If only all were accepted that easily it would be a perfect world.~
4ElizabethKnight777~Aww. Awesome story. If only all were accepted that easily it would be a perfect world.~
3/26/2003 c6 Bitter Berry
Aw, how sweet. -sniffle- And they live happily ever after. So unlike my stories. This was actually happy. XD
I reviewed. You better be smiling when you see that little 'Review Alert' in your box. ^^ 'Tis a lovely thing, eh?
-Bitter B.
Aw, how sweet. -sniffle- And they live happily ever after. So unlike my stories. This was actually happy. XD
I reviewed. You better be smiling when you see that little 'Review Alert' in your box. ^^ 'Tis a lovely thing, eh?
-Bitter B.
3/26/2003 c6 8PaperLanterns
AW! what a sweet and fairy-tale ending. That was awesome, Brett. Two enthusiastic thumbs up. Can't wait for your next story. Looks like you got that done pretty quick after all...heh heh.
love,
andrea
8PaperLanternsAW! what a sweet and fairy-tale ending. That was awesome, Brett. Two enthusiastic thumbs up. Can't wait for your next story. Looks like you got that done pretty quick after all...heh heh.
love,
andrea
3/26/2003 c6 erin
hey nice story! it was interestin cuz it was a m/m fic...anyhoo it was tight!
~erin~
hey nice story! it was interestin cuz it was a m/m fic...anyhoo it was tight!
~erin~