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for Dark Envy

10/13/2002 c7 32Cryptic Insanity
Blake rules!Blake kicks majorass!Go blake go blake!Lol.Monica is evil booo!Monica=bad,I like the new nat.Cuz,I don't know,she's more real,and she's got pink hair!And he's got green hair!I have blue hair myself!Woo,there's almost a rainbow!Yay!Update Soon.
10/13/2002 c7 2inconsequential me
Awww! So sorry for not reviewing the last chapter, but I am back! Anyway...Great chapter! Seriously...

The meeting with Dr. Martin or whatever his name was...Eh...creepy? Yes, very. Monica is disturbing and should be put away right now! Lol...The scary thing is...Will she care if she is put away? I dunno...Anyway...

The little scene with Natalee and Blake. Adorable! I like him a lot. Seriously, I think he'll be a great addition to the story! I also like him as a character.

And the way Natalee died her hair pink! Brilliant! It's slowly showing us that she's morphing into someone that she didn't use to be...Oh, and i like how she's more grounded now, and not so naive...I can't believe she's never been picked on! It really makes everytihng much more believable, now that she's "rejected"...

Anyway... Great chapters! I love reading this! Your hard work and creative mind definitely show their abilities through this work of fiction.
10/9/2002 c6 6Elven Kitteh
i luv this story! and monica is so... evilly... evil! yeah, that's it. please update soon! i luv your writing, most things that happen are extremely unexpected, it's really cool. update!
10/8/2002 c6 16kaika switched
Wow, I like this Blake character (even though he was just introduced). Great chapter. So, update soon!
10/7/2002 c6 11Neophrite
Blake seems so cool! I think Natalee is brilliant - PINK hair! Woo! It was meant to be.

Now if she could just send Monica to an insane asylum, everything will be awesome! But of course you wouldn't do that.

I love your style of writing! It kicks butt!

Please update as soon as you can!

10/6/2002 c6 J. Key
aawww how sweet, i like this blake kid, how about somebody brings him to life...

10/5/2002 c6 37BeautifulWickedness
DUN DUN DUN! And the plot thickens! Great chapter! Please post more soon! ^_^
10/5/2002 c6 Kelz
oooh! That was really great! I liked how you put one of Monica's friends in the story! Good plot with how natalee turned out too. Just a suggestion though, you should spell check ^_~ Anyway keep up the good work, this story is a real page turner!
10/3/2002 c6 10starsprinkles9604
Pink hair? Ai yi yi...Punk rocker Hello!
10/2/2002 c6 27GodofNothing
Heh... I love this story... getz me glued to my chair... i wish it could be finished faster... lol. Nice introduction of a new charachter... hmm... makes me wanna continue my story.
10/2/2002 c6 lanthene
awesome. Yeah, i got tired of the stereotypical mary-kate-ashley assumption about twins as well. Glad to see your story is totally different from that. I like Blake. Monica is the devil. Say, in the summary, i sorta got the idea that monica would kill her twin. Or try to. That would be interesting...bad, b/c i like natalee, but it'd thicken the plot. Write on, i am loving this story.
10/2/2002 c6 DeletedUser
Well, to tell you the truth, this story is amazing. But there are a few things I want to bring to your attention.

The last chapter was missing some word spaces. Letters flew off from periods and it was irritating.

Also, this is just an opinion, but I tnk you should switch the wording around in Blake's POV and reserve the really bad cursing for him. I.E. Use of the word 'fuck,' since he's a badass punk, and sweet Nat doesn't seem like the kind of person who would use those words. And the word 'ok' in place of 'okay' kind of got to me.

In the chapter 'Beauty,' there is a switch from Monica to Paris that I thought was stupid and pointless. I think you should erase that all together, and let the scissor scene flow smoothly without any choppy interference. You might want to put Paris' scene before Monica's, if you insist on keeping it. You might want to rewrite it, too, because it's too short and doesn't really give any important insight on the character.

You should also run a spellchecker over it, 'cause there were a few typos. Also, a spellcheck would catch the unspaced sentances and help you clear them up really fast.


Aside from all of my little peeves with this story, I liked it a lot.

There should be a lot more writers like you on this site, who give it their all when writing long stories.

This one had a beautiful and eerie plot, which, by the way, I can safely say that I enjoyed.

Thank you for an awesome trip, sis.
10/2/2002 c5 Kelz
Hi, sorry i didn't review the last chapter, well at least I think i didn't fanfiction.net said that i already reviewed...But anyway I feel soo bad for natalee! I can't wait to see what happens next! teehee.

10/2/2002 c3 Kelz
Whoa, that is...clever but then mean of Monica to do. I think you should clarify who's talking better though, it would help the audience better! ^_^ Anyway it's really good as usual and I'm heading over to the next chapter!

10/2/2002 c2 Kelz
Wow, it's starting to get creepy...I like it though! Continue, i wanna read more!

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