for A collection of very, very, very FUNNY poems...8/26/2012 c1 SUSHMITA GANGULY
GOOD ONE
GOOD ONE
3/25/2010 c3 0OTHEGIRLWHOWROTETHISFANFICO0
OMG, so funny! I really liked the way you wrote those poems! You're a great writer, and I hope you'll update some more in the future!
OMG, so funny! I really liked the way you wrote those poems! You're a great writer, and I hope you'll update some more in the future!
1/12/2003 c3 traeumenHerz
I am inclined to believe that this is my favorite of these three poems. I NEVER would have thought of this! However, if you wouldn't mind, I would change things about a bit to make it a little easier to read and emphasize certain dramatic or funny points, as so:
The second stanza's last two lines to 'Two "I"s, no, "E"s!
But also a "D"!'
And by the way, I love the two eyes bit.
The third stanza's last line could be 'So I leave for Mr. Ket', because 'leave to' sounds very odd and means nothing because it's never used, but 'leave for' sounds like you're going to go get Mr. Ket.
The fifth, although how you phrased it is very good, the last line could be changed to '"You WANT him to eat me?"'
Then the sixth end line, since the grammar there is also odd, 'Thinking of everyone but me.'
And the seventh stanza kinda ruins the humor a little when it says 'feed it some paper', you might want to say, 'As I offer it paper,'
And this is all really just nitpicking, so do what you want with it, even if it's to throw my advice into a furnace.
I am inclined to believe that this is my favorite of these three poems. I NEVER would have thought of this! However, if you wouldn't mind, I would change things about a bit to make it a little easier to read and emphasize certain dramatic or funny points, as so:
The second stanza's last two lines to 'Two "I"s, no, "E"s!
But also a "D"!'
And by the way, I love the two eyes bit.
The third stanza's last line could be 'So I leave for Mr. Ket', because 'leave to' sounds very odd and means nothing because it's never used, but 'leave for' sounds like you're going to go get Mr. Ket.
The fifth, although how you phrased it is very good, the last line could be changed to '"You WANT him to eat me?"'
Then the sixth end line, since the grammar there is also odd, 'Thinking of everyone but me.'
And the seventh stanza kinda ruins the humor a little when it says 'feed it some paper', you might want to say, 'As I offer it paper,'
And this is all really just nitpicking, so do what you want with it, even if it's to throw my advice into a furnace.
1/12/2003 c2 traeumenHerz
*smiles* The picture held me rapt until the end. But wouldn't it be funnier if he now looked almost like a misshapped ball of yarn? The inconsistant rhyming threw me off a little, though.
And since I can't review your other poem again, I will tell you here that you can never be too surrealistic, but I liked it better with just tigers. And how did you find your homework? You never did say.
*smiles* The picture held me rapt until the end. But wouldn't it be funnier if he now looked almost like a misshapped ball of yarn? The inconsistant rhyming threw me off a little, though.
And since I can't review your other poem again, I will tell you here that you can never be too surrealistic, but I liked it better with just tigers. And how did you find your homework? You never did say.
12/28/2002 c1 Wacky-Writer2
Hey wut's up? Good poem. By the way this is tootsierollpop99 form neopets :)
Hey wut's up? Good poem. By the way this is tootsierollpop99 form neopets :)
10/22/2002 c3 
15Jenqo
Hmm, interesting. Sort of reminds me of Shel Silverstein, you may be on the same wavelength. Makes me wish I could write poetry.
15JenqoHmm, interesting. Sort of reminds me of Shel Silverstein, you may be on the same wavelength. Makes me wish I could write poetry.
8/17/2002 c1 Smiley- Bear
Hehehe.. I too have came up with some lame excuses. This was good. Keep writing!
Hehehe.. I too have came up with some lame excuses. This was good. Keep writing!
8/15/2002 c2 dog-boy
"A collection of FUNNY poems..." I think "A collection of really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, FUNNY poems..." would be better!
"A collection of FUNNY poems..." I think "A collection of really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, FUNNY poems..." would be better!
8/14/2002 c2 19Tom Bombadil Groupie
Sadly, I get this poem! LOL! You have cute lil poems! Why don't you read mine too? Mine are odd as well!
19Tom Bombadil GroupieSadly, I get this poem! LOL! You have cute lil poems! Why don't you read mine too? Mine are odd as well!