Just In
for Twitches

1/17/2001 c1 jo
this is the hardest I have ever cried over a story. you deserve to be published- i would buy whatever you put out, and buy extra copies for my friends. This story is devastating and hauntingly beautiful all in the same breath. I love the hope I see in the ending. you are positively amazing.
12/20/2000 c1 15Opal Soul
Wow. I can't say anything else. This is... just amazing. I am curious, though- what exactly happens to George afterwards?
11/3/2000 c1 SmilingMonkey
Hi, I just read your review that you gave to *Vina*

and I think it's pretty rude.

We're supposed to be writers here at Fanfiction.net.

We all should support eachother, instead of giving people bad names.

I think it's just sad that you would ever write this kind of review.

Andy Davis on the other hand, was very tact full.

She stayed polite, and nice.

Just thought that you should know this, People who read your review of *Vina*'s story will no longer want to read it anymore.

You could have emailed her and told her tactfully that you didn't like the story.

Sorry to do this to you, It's not just you.

A lot of people do that to each other, and I hope by writing this. will make you think about other people.

But anyway, I like your stories, The blamed was my favorite.

Thank you for your time, and Please don't hate me for this.

Just my duty as a human being.

~Smile and show love~ Smiley
10/18/2000 c1 April6
10/16/2000 c1 14Nuri
that's very...spiffy actaully. You caught so many emotions with that. Reminds me of how I think my brother lives. (He's autistic) Thank you for writing such a wonderful piece
10/16/2000 c1 missy
Overall, the story was interesting enough and fairly well written, but a few things could be improved. Personally, I think bringing another character into the story earlier would give the story more substance. Maybe a customer could come intending to have their car fixed, worry that George was incompetent, and leave. It would provide some much needed action. The ending was formulaic. I really have a hard time believing that this random woman would ask George to go to Florida with her after knowing him for five minutes. Maybe something a little less dramatic would work better.

Specific comments about lines:

“Stupid people,” he said with a slight speech impediment. - Describe the speech impediment here a little more.

The smiling rabbit just stared back at him, holding a carrot near his mouth, almost like he was about to eat it. -Why else would he hold a carrot near his mouth? Use a better simile here or don't use one at all.
10/15/2000 c1 Jenn
Very good story, very touching, and very believable until the very end. Maybe they should just have been friends instead of him going to Florida with them. Just a suggestion. But anyway, yours was the first story I thought was good enough to comment on! Keep it up!

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service