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8/30/2002 c1 Keylimepie85
Yay! me likes! *twitch* GWAHAHAHAHAHAHA lol.

so anyway. a bit random, good, but confusing. Me thinks you should go easy on your poor hair.
8/29/2002 c1 Topher
Okay, very nice, but a tad too random. The thoughts don't seem to be too connected to each other, or if they are I'm just missing it. Maybe if you organized your lines a little more? I dunno, but it is good.
8/27/2002 c1 Liller
this poem is mostly good, but some of the thoughts don't link, you know? lines 5+6 are just stream-of-conciousness type lines, but you pull it back together with line 7. i'd try to make 5+6 make more sense, more kind of seamless transitions. other than that, it creates a surreal logic that doesn't make sense when you think about it too hard. a delicate logic, that's the word. the end sounds really nice out loud. hey, that would be cool to try! a poem thats completely random but sounds good when you say it... hmm! off to write one! you do one too, i'm making you.

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