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8/29/2002 c1 Kezarahk
Two small glitches: 2nd-to-last word of 4th sentence should be horn's, with an apostrophe (something to do with possesive or belonging to, though grammar's not my favorite subject).

Second to last sentence contains the word 'empress', which (judging from the context) was meant to be 'impress'. IMHO (and mine only), 'impress' used this way doesn't fit with the rest of the poem... it sounds a little adolescent whereas the Princes are no doubt majestic beings of great dignity, like their sire.

Today they will... ok I'm drawing a blank here, let me think. How does the Choosing go about anyways? Fighting? (Today they will prove their courage to Princesses from another realm.) An athletic competition? (Today they will show their strength and prowness...)

Those two points aside, in summary - short, simple, beelining towards romantic. Reads more like the beginning of a fantasy novel than a completed poem but otherwise no glaring flaws.

-Kezarahk
8/29/2002 c1 99Little Miss Shadow
Hey, very impresive. That was very good. I look forward to taking a look at some more of your stuff.

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