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1/5/2007 c13 2JusticeWriter
Aw. Great story. :)
10/29/2006 c13 Jendayi
That was pretty good...Actually, very good. I've been through a lot of racism, so I could definitely relate to the situations Brandi was put in.
9/8/2005 c13 19my dangerous angel baby
I loved the story! I can relate with Brandi, I have dumbass brothers too and my neighborhood is f**ked plus some white guys are doing it. Great story!~
12/18/2004 c13 fictionalexandria
Hello, I liked this story and I hope you do decided to make some kind of sequel. Though the concept is old, you did it especially well.
11/27/2004 c1 12Jubilant Sleep
I liked it. There are a few spelling errors here and there and your story lacks detail. The dance scenes are a bit cliche, but it wasn't a bad story at all.
8/3/2004 c13 2Queen of dawn
you have to write another story based on your character and erik your new boyfriend and plz don't kill him. your story was really good!
8/3/2004 c11 Queen of dawn
OMG! you just killed him of like that? geez why an earth for?
8/3/2004 c7 Queen of dawn
well...very racey. wow is your neighboorhood this bad or just exaggeration?
8/3/2004 c4 Queen of dawn
once again good! but grammar errors and lack of description but bril!
8/3/2004 c3 Queen of dawn
good chapter ;)
8/3/2004 c2 Queen of dawn
i love your story though i don't think matthew would just come out and say it. add more description but good so far.
12/16/2002 c13 fatpat60
Good but a bit of more description could be used, try reading Logan's digimon fan fics, those will make you cry, a guarantee, very nice story, has lots of thought put into it and has some very good points about life which could be used for teaching certain things about society, anyway good story.

fatpat60

P.S.

keep reading my story please, also, I don't believe in SORATO, only TAIORA FOREVER, Sorato is a word i do not recognize.
10/15/2002 c1 56Blue SunriZe
Kiss my ass CrystalHartfield! You write a better story, bitch!
10/1/2002 c1 8Purple Colored Auora Petals
::hangs head and sighs::

This story was slightly better than the last I reviewed...but, it certainly still has some problems.

First off, maybe you should try putting in more situations where this "Brandi Jackson" has more meetings with Jennifer's brother, Matthew.

The fact that you suddenly make him bust out of the blue, asking Brandi out to the dance is kind of cliché...and on top of that, you didn't even describe it right...you could have AT LEAST given some sort of place where they met and began to bond instead of in the halls of their school and Matthew saying that she was cute and Brandi stating that she thought he was pretty cute for a white guy...the tatics are old, but when doing some **as** old as black and white, you need to proceed to do all the neccessary steps...

You put some thought to this, good for you, but...your still missing description...a story revolves around description, after all, that's **all** your doing, describing a certain fiction idea...this should come naturally to all, unfortunately , it doesn't...
9/2/2002 c1 XrYuX
personally, i hate racists..I don't understand why they are so against different races..anyway, i think your story really showed what some life is like and it was truly inspiring - it sure made me think twice about how some people have to live...anyway, great story - keep writing

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