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8/22/2016 c1 Rayakashi
I love the storyline it has a good base, like the Facts chapter. This is one of my favorite, up there with Mother of Learning, and SOM: Paladin (2013). I take it that its discontinued? It hasn't been updated in years- I know I've been waiting. Though if u ever continue the story...
10/26/2014 c6 Rayakashi
I love the theme and storyline. I've been waiting for updates for a couple of months now. Hope it will update eventually. Please continue :)
9/14/2004 c5 2Ariana McKenzie
Hello again. I think this is a great story, again. But when they change, do they actually change into a dog/wolf, or do they like... grow fur and a tail, keeping the human form? Well, great stuff you've got here -Ariana
9/14/2004 c2 Ariana McKenzie
I really liked this, you've got a good story going on here. Although, it was a little weird when Wes was like... licking Joshua's neck. Not bad, but kinda weird... but all in all a great chapter. -Ariana
8/14/2004 c2 1Shadowofaman
Okay, that wasn't bad. Kind of interesting, the blend between modern and old technology and things.
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-Again, it feels like it could use a little more detail in parts, as understanding some things (what they look like, etc.) is hard otherwise.
-You might want to put in a little more of the characters feelings here and there, so we can get to know them more.
-The biggest thing that needs corrected is the tense changes. You switch from past (was, were, etc.) to present (things like is, are) a lot, especially in the first scene-the first three paragraphs of set-up-so it sounds kind of funny. Such as "Joshua befriended one wealthy inn keeper, named Mr. Mathus, from the city, who gave him a nice room in exchange for simple services like helping host parties in the bar or maid service in the rooms upstairs." Since that happened in the past, apparently, you should use "had" in it ("Joshua had befriended" and so on.)
-Also, a few sentences sound a bit awkward.
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In all, I'd reccomend that you read it out loud when you're editing, or get someone to read it to you.
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Nice work, and I'll read and review the other chapters as soon as I have time!
8/14/2004 c1 Shadowofaman
Well, I like stories with anthropomorphic characters in them, so this should be interesting.
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I think what needs work so far is that you need to incoparate this information given in the introduction into the actual story, such as through the characters thoughts and dialogue or the narrative.
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It looks promising, anyway, onto the next chapter...
8/8/2004 c2 JaveHarron
I finally get around to reading this. To be a bit honest, the setting feels a bit missing, since other than the fact the country hates half-dogs, not much in regards to its social or economic system are discussed. Technology wise, it all seems modern. Any explainations on why/how?
3/23/2003 c6 67NightshadeJonathan
Good story. Why aren't you continueing it?
9/10/2002 c5 I'mnolongerhereatthisaccount
This is pretty good.Nice scene descrptions and all.

Could you maybe read and review my origonal vampire novel?Thanks if you cand and please write more I hope.
9/8/2002 c4 NightshadeJonathan
I love this story! It has a great balance of dialogue and descriptions of scenes and such. Keep it up.

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