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6/27/2009 c1 1chococcino
The story was pretty good though

it would've been better if each time

someone speaks, it would be a new line.

It was very descriptive and well written.

It doesn't seem like a 5th grader wrote it

coz it seems more advanced, i guess. The

ending was good..

Thanks for posting, it was a good read!
6/23/2006 c1 1We Called Her Thalia
You wrote this in grade five? AWESOME! I mean, it's mostly the plot that impresses me. The writing is advanced for that age, but still not incredible. In grade five I was a bit of a wimp, so I could never imagine writing anything like this for vengenance at that time.

You almost got suspended for this? That's terrible. What sort of school do (or did) you go to, anyway? Wow. I would've loved to see the teachers reaction.
2/4/2006 c1 Amy
lol i read this story like a year ago and never reviewed - but it just hit me... they'd have no right to just expel you for doing your homework, no matter how dark it is! :(

It's only murder anyway - not like you involved children or anything. Bastard. Bring back freedom of bloody speech!

And that other reviewer's school shootings thing - so glad we dont get them over here in England either. :) Although I remember just one last year - a kid got shot in the head... and didn't die. xD Long live the King eh?
10/31/2005 c1 5Glock40
gruesome! but you did write it like "waiting quietly,she pounces" and like that, i think you should making the adjective then action then adjective then action you know?
4/15/2004 c1 les etoiles brilles
almost got suspended for this, heh, i'm surprised you didn't get expelled and sent to an asylum. this was pretty awesome. and in 5th grade. wow. i don't think i can write such a thing now. good job! keep writing!
4/15/2004 c1 33cottoncandy
Okay...i like the story, but why did she kill him anyway? And waht is with the licking of the blood off of the knife, and the " now you can go join james". Can you say tacky and disturbing. But other then that it was realy well written, and very discriptive. Keep up the good work
12/14/2003 c1 aeropilot
Whoa. Some pretty violent stuff. I think you should add more details to it, like how the killer looks like, and give it more of a plot, to structure the story...but overall, nice work! Keep it up.
9/20/2003 c1 La-depdpeps
Tell me, was the teacher you were pissed off perhaps with have a first name James...? o_o

I liked it a lot. :D
8/5/2003 c1 The Moonlit Road
That was an awesome story, it was fast paced, and gripping, I could actually vision that story. It was very well done, I liked it a lot.
7/29/2003 c1 nonexistent
it was...um...what the ppl b4 me said...
4/6/2003 c1 Anarchist Bob
this story is so wicked awesome.
8/25/2002 c1 1The White Lily
I agree with Willum - some explanation of motive would have been nice. But what I can't believe is that you almost got suspended for writing that in the fifth grade!

You're in America, aren't you. Oh, well that explains it. Never have I been more glad to be an Australian. Zero school shootings. Ever. Here, if children give reason to think they may be disturbed, they are counselled, not suspended.

Anyway, great story, I really like it. Similar vein to one of mine - Reflections of a Killer.
11/20/2000 c1 the ringmaster1
nice story...seriously its not bad like you made it out to be..its very well-written..the only thing was the 'you can now join james' part sort of made it a little cheesy
11/3/2000 c1 Jamais Chevalier
bravo! *claps her hands*! WRIGHT MORE!
10/29/2000 c1 FreakBang
okay
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