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for Wild Horse

10/10/2002 c1 Nimbrethil
This doesn't really cut it as a poem. It would be better written in prose form, if left written in its' current style.

There is one grammar error in this, that I'll leave to you to find since it is obvious.

As for the rest, there is absolutely no rhythm to this piece. A poem does not have to have a rhyme scheme to qualify as poetry, but it most certainly must have a kind of rhythm. And this has none, which is why I say it would be better suited as prose if left unchanged as far as style. There is some emotion conveyed in this, but it is vague and weak. You could strengthen it somewhat by altering a few words. For instance, the second line, 'In fear', I think, would be better served if written as 'Frightened'. But it needs more than that. The piece needs to be redone altogether, from word choice and placement, to grammatical structure, again, for the purpose of creating rhythm.

This just doesn't read well in its current form. Not as poetry.
9/10/2002 c1 Cleo
nope, no quit in my blood...:) thats why i wrote it...to show ppl to never to quit and that if they try to bring me down, they will be sorry.
9/9/2002 c1 naioth
Wow, I'm glad I'm not a wild horse, but if I was I'd never give up either. Quit isn't in me and I hope it isn't in you.
9/8/2002 c1 LinkinParkRules
cool poem. i hate the way some people treat animals...again cool poem...like how you told it from the horse's POV
9/8/2002 c1 1Dc02
i like chicken

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