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for I miss you

10/22/2002 c1 6a priori
Tell me it wasn't a good idea to make you take Lit12! =)

Beautifully written! Poignant and full of subtleties!

"Not the worldly wealth and the shadow of mankind" -sounds vaguely Elizabethan, just... beautiful.

"intelligence...forever"-Sadly, it's true; but remember, somewhere out there, a corner of the world is silently sequestered for the likes of you, a safe harbour from that "horrid reality".

While on a tumultuous sea we sail, in search of that elysium...
9/21/2002 c1 Adonis
nice, real nice

so deep that i can't get it...j/k

perfect flow as i read it...

how do u relate love with miss?

write a french poem too "Je m'ennuye de..."
9/21/2002 c1 24Tara Cools
wOwiE. im in shock! this is amazingly awesome! The entire poem is great...my fav line by far though is: Your embrace the cure for the cancer of obsession.

I'm impressed. I doubt that many 13 year old guys could write like this.
9/21/2002 c1 Marian
Favorite lines: "My affection is like a message in a bottle" and "The finale of our story has already been written / And there will be no epilogue, and so sequel".

I love the metaphor, a couple's love story being literally a written story in a bottle.

Although, in my opinion, this poem would have been stronger if the line "Tears melt my heart, pain rips my mind" had been taken out or re-phrased. The poem starts out with a beautiful image, but that line just stood out to me as being too... melodramatic? I can't think of the right word at the moment. It seemed more cliched somehow than the rest of the poem, which I thought was really quite eloquent.

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