for I miss you10/22/2002 c1 
6a priori
Tell me it wasn't a good idea to make you take Lit12! =)
Beautifully written! Poignant and full of subtleties!
"Not the worldly wealth and the shadow of mankind" -sounds vaguely Elizabethan, just... beautiful.
"intelligence...forever"-Sadly, it's true; but remember, somewhere out there, a corner of the world is silently sequestered for the likes of you, a safe harbour from that "horrid reality".
While on a tumultuous sea we sail, in search of that elysium...
6a prioriTell me it wasn't a good idea to make you take Lit12! =)
Beautifully written! Poignant and full of subtleties!
"Not the worldly wealth and the shadow of mankind" -sounds vaguely Elizabethan, just... beautiful.
"intelligence...forever"-Sadly, it's true; but remember, somewhere out there, a corner of the world is silently sequestered for the likes of you, a safe harbour from that "horrid reality".
While on a tumultuous sea we sail, in search of that elysium...
9/21/2002 c1 Adonis
nice, real nice
so deep that i can't get it...j/k
perfect flow as i read it...
how do u relate love with miss?
write a french poem too "Je m'ennuye de..."
nice, real nice
so deep that i can't get it...j/k
perfect flow as i read it...
how do u relate love with miss?
write a french poem too "Je m'ennuye de..."
9/21/2002 c1 24Tara Cools
wOwiE. im in shock! this is amazingly awesome! The entire poem is great...my fav line by far though is: Your embrace the cure for the cancer of obsession.
I'm impressed. I doubt that many 13 year old guys could write like this.
24Tara CoolswOwiE. im in shock! this is amazingly awesome! The entire poem is great...my fav line by far though is: Your embrace the cure for the cancer of obsession.
I'm impressed. I doubt that many 13 year old guys could write like this.
9/21/2002 c1 Marian
Favorite lines: "My affection is like a message in a bottle" and "The finale of our story has already been written / And there will be no epilogue, and so sequel".
I love the metaphor, a couple's love story being literally a written story in a bottle.
Although, in my opinion, this poem would have been stronger if the line "Tears melt my heart, pain rips my mind" had been taken out or re-phrased. The poem starts out with a beautiful image, but that line just stood out to me as being too... melodramatic? I can't think of the right word at the moment. It seemed more cliched somehow than the rest of the poem, which I thought was really quite eloquent.
Favorite lines: "My affection is like a message in a bottle" and "The finale of our story has already been written / And there will be no epilogue, and so sequel".
I love the metaphor, a couple's love story being literally a written story in a bottle.
Although, in my opinion, this poem would have been stronger if the line "Tears melt my heart, pain rips my mind" had been taken out or re-phrased. The poem starts out with a beautiful image, but that line just stood out to me as being too... melodramatic? I can't think of the right word at the moment. It seemed more cliched somehow than the rest of the poem, which I thought was really quite eloquent.