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12/7/2002 c1 Star7
wow. this is the most beautiful, touching, well-done 9/11 dedication i've read. your heart is in this and it is stunning. the beginning starts mysteriously. not sure what to expect. the world is falling apart and our hearts also... then into morbid, sorrowful imagery. 'crack of bones' 'burnt flesh' 'air escaping as moans' making you cringe and almost sob with the pure emotional force of it. it hurts to remember but also is so good to. ends with a softer touch, bowed heads in perfect stillness. next, a battle of rhyme, bouncing in your head with each phrase of pictures. love the first four lines. and the end with the list and doomed prediction. finally, a pleading chord is struck. allow the doves to fly with the olive branches. and that last line. amazing. it sums it up and smacks you hard. makes you realize, remember, nod. this was a piece of art. brilliant. and very thought-provoking.
10/11/2002 c1 73koruneko
aw trevor, how pretty and sad. You write very well. the imagery in this is wonderful. it's just so sad. ~ Caitlin

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