The Case of the Battle Morph Robot

I just love modern day toys! You know the ones I'm talking about. They're lining store shelves-robots, talking dogs, motorized cars, mechanically triggered Barbies, and baby dolls that drink real milk and pee with artificial urine. These toys let children's creativity fly, they are extra- safe, and they are fun for parents too!

Wooden toy airplanes are a thing of the past! Buy your kids a modern toy, made of flimsy plastic. When they break it, you can pay just fifteen dollars to replace it. Fifteen dollars can buy you something more useful, but hey! Who wants something useful? We live in a consumer society, people!

In my opinion, modern day toys are great entertainment for little ones. For instance, take my brother's case. He got this new toy from the local Target store, a BATTLE MORPH ROBOT. It cost our mom a pretty penny-well, 2000 pretty pennies, to be specific. He brought it home, played with it for five minutes, and then dropped it on the ground. I was amazed at how much he loved his new toy. I was so impressed with his reaction to it; I think I'll purchase one for a little boy I baby-sit.

Of all the parts to this toy, I think I enjoy its arm the best. It has karate-chop action! All kids need now is a battle morph robot that knows yoga and works by remote control.

Nowadays, you can buy your kids toys that do all the work for them! No more cardboard boxes that require creativity to play with them! Who wants kids to use their imaginations, anyway?

The battle morph robot came with about six million pieces. I tell you, it was the greatest. It arrived in a box that had a plastic window so you can view the toy in the store, and try out all of its gadgets. It's kind of a "try before you buy" thing. After trying the toy, you know how loud it's going to be when you bring it home. The louder, the better!

Anyways, back to this plastic window thing. We finally got the battle morph robot out of its box. My four-year-old sister Emily almost suffocated due to the plastic window. How safe toys are these days!

Then we saw that the toy was anchored to the back of the box with about two thousand plastic-coated wire twist ties. It takes about ten minutes to untwist the ties on half of the robot. And we all know that plenty of time is available to untwist these ties. No one ever does anything constructive, say reading, when such a cool toy is around.

We finally got all the twist ties off the robot. When we were picking up all the ties off the floor, we missed a few. Our puppy Rex proceeded to eat the remaining twist ties and barf them up a few hours later.

Parents, aren't modern toys the greatest?