1Five years later.
The Lady Marina rested against the stonework of the tallest tower of her castle with her arms, and surveyed all she could see of her kingdom, from the lush surrounding green fields to the. other lush green fields. The she glanced at the black sky which enveloped it all, and sighed.
"Darkness has befallen the kingdom, my Knight-Captain," she said to the young, armoured soldier who was stood behind her.
Knight-Captain Martin glanced at the sky, and frowned behind his Lady's back. "Evidently," he said in a tone the Lady missed.
The sounds of footsteps coming up the spiralled stone stairwell behind them made Martin turn sharply around, while Marina took several seconds to turn on her feet, trying to perform the function as elegantly as possible. Martin resisted the temptation to shake his head.
A young soldier, though older than the Knight-Captain, emerged from the stairwell, and stopped before his Lady. Martin was sure that he had leant over to pant exhaustively, but Marina took it for a bow. "What have you come to say, young Germane?" she asked delicately.
"My most regal and pink Lady," began Germane, using the Lady's full title which she had created herself. Martin winced every time it was proclaimed, "A messenger from your counterpart, the gracious Lord Turtle has arrived and awaits your most noble ear with news that is said to be dire."
Lady Marina turned to Martin, "Oh Martin, my most favoured advisor, where should I receive this messenger of ill-fortune?"
Martin bit back his despair, "On your throne, perchance? As is custom, and, indeed, where you have received all messengers since your reign began."
Marina smiled, "Oh Martin, whatever would I do without your quick thinking?" she said, before turning and following the young soldier down the steps.
Martin muttered under his breath, "Find some other poor bastard to run this kingdom I expect, may the God's pity me."
He followed after, hoping Lord Turtle's message involved the words "attempt", "Marina" and "assassination".
***
Two figures upon horseback trotted leisurely along the dirt road. One stroked the wings of her horse lovingly, while the other patted the horn on the head of her unicorn. The girl on the winged horse leaned over, and whispered to the other, "Saralin, how long do you expect it will be before we reach the city?"
"I cannot say, Sophia," replied Saralin, running her fingers through her long black hair, "Providing we encounter no trouble, not too long."
But Sophia had stopped listening, her brown hair fluttering in the breeze and her dazzling blue eyes focused intently on something up ahead. Saralin followed her gaze with her equally dazzling green eyes, which widened in horror.
Ahead they could see a small hamlet which was totally devastated, buildings both collapsed and on fire, and animals and humans alike lying lifeless, scattered across the area.
Saralin and Sophia glanced at each other, and said in tandem, "The faeries."
They entered the village, trotting slowly through the carnage. Nearby a haystack shook, and Saralin quickly had her bow out, while Sophia reached for her trident. However, a villager emerged from under the stack.
"Oh, may the Gods be praised, help is here!" he cried, running over to the pair. Sophia and Saralin shared a quick glance.
"It was the faeries, they came and murdered everyone." he grabbed the winged horse by the reigns, "Come, come, look what they did to my cow!"
Sophia leaned over the reigns, "We're renegades, this isn't really our concern."
"You shall be paid handsomely."
"You speak our language well," said Saralin quickly, grinning.
They were led to the cow, which was riddled with arrows. The villager removed his straw hat and scratched his bald head, "I think the arrows mean something."
"Yeah," said Saralin, "It means someone shot your cow."
"Hang on." said Sophia slowly, "I think the arrows spell something out. Look, those arrows near the hide form a number five, then m. in. minutes! Then a number two, then r. RUN! FIVE MINUTES TO RUN!"
As soon as she said it, five faerie's burst from various hiding places, clutching small bows-and-arrows. The shot a small volley at the three humans and two horses, who quickly fled. The arrows exploded as they impacted against the cow, splattering flesh everywhere. One of the faerie's cursed, "Those were our last boom-boom arrows!" As the renegades and the villager rushed past a barn, the faeries released another volley, and the villager was pinned to the barn doors by arrows to his ears.
Saralin quickly pulled two arrows from the quiver on her back, and fired them both quickly from her perch on the unicorn, killing two faeries. Sophia took flight upon her horse and charged at the faeries. The horse kicked the first faerie out the way, snapping its tiny body, while Sophia impaled the second on her trident. "You little bugger," she said to the corpse, "I just washed this thing!"
The fifth faerie skipped out the way of the horse, but Saralin came up behind it at a gallop, and swooped down with her arm and grabbed it. She quickly removed a bottle from her backpack, and stuffed it into it, quickly corking it. She held it up to Sophia, "This little git might come in useful."
Sophia looked up from where she was, now removing the arrows from the villager's ears, and nodded. The villager fell to his knees as she released him. Saralin trotted over.
"Thank you so much!" cried the villager, prostrating himself before the pair of renegades, "How may I pay you?"
"Well," said Sophia, "We usually charge one cow, but looking at yours, we'll make an exception!"
"C'mon," said Saralin quickly, "We should be making tracks. These winged rodents have been delaying us enough as it is. I still haven't got all that melted faerie wing out of my hair from the volcano." She tossed a small bag of coins to the farmer, "Go buy yourself a new. er. settlement. Make it a cheap one, mind."
The man thanked them, and they set off at a more hasty trot along the road.
***
The messenger was becoming hoarse by now as he finished his charge, "So, the Lord Turtle needs your help in finding the mage known as Jacob, so he may combat these faeries."
The Lady Marina continued to watch the messenger intently for a while after he'd finish. The messenger looked back, sweating and wondering if he'd made a faux pas somehow.
Knight-Captain Martin leaned over and whispered in Marina's ear, "My Lady, the messenger has finished."
Marina stared blankly back at him, "And what does Lord Turtle require exactly?"
Martin mentally smacked his forehead, "He needs assistance in finding Jacob, the revered magus, Lady." She continued to stare blankly, and Martin sighed. He turned to the messenger, "Thank you, we shall take council."
The messenger bowed, but as he turned to leave one of the audience of the throne room stood up. Martin rolled his eyes as he saw it was Lord Carrick, renowned suck up to Lady Marina and after his job as advisor.
"Knight-Captain, how dare you to presume the Lady wishes to take council on this matter!"
Even Martin was surprised by Carrick's greater than usual show of idiocy, "My Lord, on matters of importance, it is customary for her to hear the opinions of all her good councillors. And, of course, yourself."
The Lady rose, "Now, now boys, I know I am beautiful but there is no need to fight over my affection."
Carrick humbly bowed, "I do apologise, m'lady, I just did not want your magisterial role to be usurped." Martin felt like throwing up.
"My chief advisor might be presumptions," said the Lady, causing Martin to choke, "But he is right; we shall take council."
Everyone in the throne-room rose and bowed to the Lady, Carrick's bow bringing his nose to the floor. How easy it would be to kick him in the face now, thought Martin.
***
Sophia and Saralin sighed with relief as they entered the gate of the city. They walked under a sign that read "Pinkaron."
"This place used to be called Malaron," said Sophia, "But I hear the new Ruling Lady has an affinity for pink."
"I'll give you two-to-one that she's an airhead," replied Saralin icily.
Sophia began to chuckle, but was interrupted as her horse was struck by a flurry of stun arrows, and toppled over. She was flung to the floor, and lay in a daze. Saralin leaped from her unicorn as it too as struck by stun arrows. Seconds later they were surrounded by soldiers bearing arms.
They seized Saralin and Sophia, and quickly handcuffed them on. Saralin suddenly snapped out of her confusion, "What the hell are you doing!? Gerroff me!"
"You're under arrest for blatantly breaking the law!" replied the soldier in charge.
"How?" said Sophia, still dazed from the fall.
"The only woman who may ride horses in this city is the Lady Marina! All others are of lesser birth and unworthy to ride horses!"
Sophia's and Saralin's jaws dropped. "Can you say 'dumb-ass law?'" spat Saralin.
"Treachery! You speak ill of the Lady! You uncouth renegades shall face her wrath!"
One of the guards who had been searching the unicorn's saddle called out, "Chief, this one carries a faerie in a bottle with her!"
The gathering crowd all gasped. "A faerie!" cried the chief, "That surely means death for such treason!"
Sophia cast an angry glance at Saralin, "This is the last time we come somewhere because you like the sweet shop!"
Saralin replied as she was forced through the streets by the soldiers, "This might be the last time we go anywhere."
"Oh don't worry," said the soldier, "You'll be visiting all of the seventeen hells soon!"
Saralin growled, "I'll be sure to give your whore of a mother a message."
She and Sophia were led off, all their hard-thought of profanities ignored by the guards.